The Joeletter

StarCraft II beta

2010-05-23T18:30:00.000-04:00

MetalVenom, my Kiwi friend, if you're out there googling my name trying to contact me since the SC II beta changed everything, here I am.

Aloe.deepsky8 zerg SC 2 StarCraft II beta player Cincinnati Eastern Aloe

MetalVenom Protoss New Zealand

Raindrops and Sunshine

2008-06-03T21:10:00.001-04:00

There's something oddly beautiful about a cloud-muted sunset, reflected through raindrops

$25, and Customer Service

2008-04-16T16:20:00.004-04:00

So, Delta is instituting a new policy where the second bag you check, and every bag thereafter, costs you $25. I know this, because Orbitz just sent me an email telling me so. This is because one of the flights that we're taking to Prague is a Delta flight.

Well, that shouldn't be a problem, I say to myself, because we have been thinking about just doing everything in a carry-on apiece anyway. But, just out of curiosity, I decided to log in and see which flight it was that was on a Delta plane.

I clicked the little button to look at all the flights, and spent about 3 minutes very puzzled. See, we're taking three flights to get over there, and three flights to get back. I have the itinerary in my inbox. Well, I see three flights coming back, but only two flights on the way there.

How odd, I think. Perhaps they decided to direct-flight it? That's cool. So, I look closer. I see the flight out of Cincinnati, to Washington. I see the flight from Washington to London. They're exactly the same as always. Then I look in disbelief as THAT'S WHERE THE FLIGHT ITINERARY ENDS!!!!!

I'm mildly concerned at this point. I have five people going to Prague, places lined up and everything, and my ticket ENDS IN LONDON!!!! Now, don't get me wrong, I like London - or at least I think I would. Cherok says lots of nice things about it. I'd like to visit some time.

BUT I WANT TO GO TO PRAGUE!!!! Moreover, I PAID to go to Prague!

Well, I'm on the phone right now with Michelle, a very nice lady with a bit of an accent, who is finding me a new flight, no charge. I'm very very thankful. Though, I'm curious - what would have happened if Delta hadn't started charging for the second checked bag, and I hadn't logged in to look at the itinerary again? THAT would have been a nasty surprise!

"Bless the Lord, my soul
and bless His holy name
Bless the Lord, my soul
who leads me into Life"
~ song from Taize
.

IHoP All-nighter

2008-04-11T17:01:00.000-04:00

So, sometimes, when students have papers they have to finish, they stay up late and write them. Sometimes, however, they decide to pull all-nighters.

Now, there is a protocol for all-night study/writing events. First, you should choose your destination. There are a few restaurant-type places that are open 24-hours a day. Examples of these would be Tim Horton's, The Anchor, and the International House of Pancakes.

The second choice that has to be made is your all-nighter companions. This is a crucial step in "pulling an all-nighter." If your companions are too studious, they will have already finished the paper, and will be asleep by the time you realize you need to stay awake all night. If your companions are too flighty, they'll go with you to the restaurant but will never get anything done, and will prevent you from writing much more than three paragraphs over the course of the night.
The ideal all-nighter companions, then, are those whom you enjoy thoroughly, but who also really want to finish their assignment as much as you do. It helps if they are in your class, working on the same paper or studying for the same test that you are.

You might be surprised to find that there are really only two steps to pulling an all-nighter. You might not realize, however, how crucial both steps are in pulling a successful all-nighter.

I am pleased to report that the restaurant chosen was the IHOP by the Very Large Meijer, just off of Exit 8A on I-71 North.

The companions consisted of Corey Isaac, Scuttle, Becckha, and myself.

The time had was an excellent mixture of laughter (mostly Corey and myself), poking (exclusively Becckha), enjoying the fact that she's not in Advanced Greek yet (exclusively Scuttle), and paper-writing. I myself left with seven double-spaced pages at 7 o'clock this morning.

One important factor to consider is your coffee-tolerance. If you only drink coffee as an occasional paper-stimulant, do not drink the whole Bottomless Pot you purchased and were brought, and do not ask your waitress for another. This results in energy for a while, until you realize that your brain is incoherent, but too hyped up on caffeine to realize that it is exhausted. Then you try to sleep, but are unable to for the next 7 hours. For your own sake, moderate your coffee-intake.

All in all though? I had a BLAST, and will not forget this paper-writing experience for a Long Time.

one of Those People

2008-04-09T00:01:00.002-04:00

I hate myself so much right now.

mmmm, no, that's not true. I wouldn't trade this for the world.

but still . . . i'm one of Those People.

The people I mock, the people who can't seem to spend enough time with their girlfriend, so they stay out right up to curfew and then come trooping back to the dorm. Those people.

k, so, I went for a walk. It was a nice night out, right? beautiful. Sure, curfew was in 15 minutes, but that's cool. Sure, I might have been holding hands . . . I don't mind that part. At all, actually. [editor's note - he was not holding hands with himself, but rather with his girlfriend] Wait, didn't I mention that part? Oh, yeah, I have a girlfriend now . . . but it was a REALLY nice night out too, I promise.

So, we're walking, enjoying the night air . . . and it's curfew time. So, as we walk back to her dorm, I notice EVERY other couple walking back as well. And then it hits me. i'm one of Those People. I'm part of the club, the group of people who all troop back down to the dorm right as curfew hits, having spent their last precious moment together with their significant other for the night.

But I'm not one of those people, I promise! I'm trying really really hard to maintain individuality for the both of us. I don't want to be That Couple, who eats EVERY meal together, who is practically joined at the . . . well, hands? Shoulders? *insert body-part here*? 'Cause, I mean, we're dating. We're not engaged. We're still individuals, with our own responsibilities and lives. Sure, I like her - obviously! Sure I enjoy spending time together - obviously! But I still want to remain individual people, for now. If it doesn't work, that limits the pain. If it does work, it won't be a problem - there's plenty of time. I tend to throw myself whole-heartedly into anything that I determine is worth doing. That's great and wonderful, that's a terrific ability/gift. But I'm learning the value of caution and boundaries. Not that I didn't ever have boundaries before - but I'm learning more about them, and about what it means to be a man in a relationship.

So, really, I'm not one of Those People. I have boundaries, and I don't have to be with her ALL THE FREAKING TIME!!! Just, tonight, part of the time that I bounded out to spend with her, happened to fall during the stereotyped time.

cool.

oh, and I REALLY appreciate people who come and talk to me, instead of 1). assuming, and 2). starting rumors.

Not that I've heard any rumors - but I know how my campus works.

Responsible

2008-04-06T12:52:00.002-04:00

I am not responsible for my guilt, I realized this morning. I am responsible for my actions before God. If my heart is both seeking him, and clean before him, then I can reject any feelings of guilt that are pointed my way.

It's easy for me to feel guilty, when I take on responsibilities that I shouldn't - or say no to things, and then feel bad for it. But, really, there is only one judge, who is able to save and destroy. I just need to please him, right?

I feel like there's a little danger in being so simplistic - I actually intended to simply right "I am responsible only before God," but then as I wrote it I felt like that was a very dangerous proposition. I don't think it's wrong, it's just easy to abuse if your heart is wrong.

Now, not all guilt is wrong. But I know that it is a powerful tool that gets used against me. That's why I hate it SO MUCH when people try to guilt-trip me into doing things. I do it to myself, however, and I'm so much more insidious. It all comes back to God - am I honoring Him, or not? if I am, I can stand firm in that. If I'm not, I'd better start moving, now!

Whatcha think?

A long-awaited story

2006-11-29T13:37:00.000-05:00

So, as many of you know, I lived in Prague, in the Czech Republic, for a semester before coming to college. This was as part of a discipleship program. I had a roommate, Ben R. We lived in a nice little circa-1950's style Czech flat. Some of the amenities were a clothes washer (but no dryer), and an in-line hot-water heater for the kitchen sink.

We had two rooms that we used as bedrooms - the living room area, and the kitchen area. Both had beds in them. Ben took the kitchen - I was in the living room.

Sidenote - We replaced the first letter of the room name with the first letter of our name, when talking about the rooms. For example, my bedroom was the Jiving room; take the L off of living room, and put a J there. Ben was in the kitchen. I'll let you figure that one out . . .

A crucial piece of background information - while we had a small clothes washer in the flat, we did not have a dryer. This is normal for the Czech. After all, you can hang your clothes out to dry. It saves money. So, we strung up ropes that I had brought along, and dried our clothes on them. It worked very well.

One night Ben needed a pair of underware to be dry for the next day. Rather than chance the rope-dryers, he placed the pair on top of the in-line water-heater for the kitchen sink. The advantage to this was the pilot light in the water heater - it was always on, and the heat from it was vented out the top of the heater. Ben placed his underware over the vent on the top, and the underware dried out just fine.

Ben often slept later than I did. Seeing as he was in the kitchen, and I need breakfast to function well, I would slip quietly into the kitchen and make myself some oatmeal or something. That particular morning I turned on the hot water to fill my little pot. I failed to note the underware on top of the heater. To my great surprise, flames from the pilot light started shooting out the front of the heater, through the little hole used to light the pilot light if it had gone out. Apparently when the vent at the top was covered up, the fire came out the hole!

The flames shot upward, and I was afraid that I had crisped Ben's underware. I hurriedly turned the water off and checked - to my great relief they were unsinged.

After the fact this episode was very amusing to me. I shared it with Ben and a friend of ours who had come over from America to visit.

It was at this point that we . . . well, we decided to reinact what had happened, and get it on film.

Three guys, fire, underware . . . can ya blame us?

So we attempted it. Well, it turned out that the flame shooting out the water heater wasn't enough to light the underware on fire - at least, not quickly enough.

But Ben had bought a bottle of Absinthe while we were there. Don't ask me why.

It's pretty strong stuff.

Yeah - that's Ben.

Yeah - that's a bottle of Absinthe.

Yeah - that's his pair of briefs on the water heater

But he decided he should probably disguise himself, so we took a second picture.

He named the hat Janet.

We set up elaborate safety precautions before beginning - we're guys, but we're not stupid . . .

Okay, so we're guys.

We filled up the sink with soapy water, and we filled a couple pitchers with water, just in case the fire got out of hand.

We attached a thread to the underware so we could twitch them off the heater into the sink, and not worry about being burned.

. . .

. . .

Okay, so they seemed elaborate at the time.

*You may have to try dragging the video slider slightly to the right - for some reason it freezes, but if you drag if slightly it will keep playing.*

This was our first try - For some reason the flame shot out the back this time, instead of the front. You can't really tell it from the video, but they did. We were very shocked.

And, yes, that was me turning the water on.

(Micah and Justin D., don't worry; if I am on a camp team I won't do this while representing the school. Actually, throughout this entire process the three of us were continually saying to each other, "This is a really stupid idea . . . man, this is dumb . . . if this goes wrong . . . man, this is stupid)

So we adjusted the underware, and tried again.

This is where a little miscommunication occured - I was the designated 'puller.' I was supposed to pull the thread so the underware would fall into the sink and be extinguished. However, I assumed we were going for complete burn-out. Ben merely assumed that we were going to light the briefs on fire.

*You may have to try dragging the video slider slightly to the right - for some reason it freezes, but if you drag if slightly it will keep playing.*

Man, that Absinthe is strong stuff! Did you see how long it kept burning?

Here's the aftermath:

So, how'd you spend YOUR spring break?

Day 1, IHOP - KC

2006-05-19T14:41:00.000-04:00

So we’re here in Kansas City, MO. We drove through the night and arrived a few minutes before 3, local time. That’d be Central Time, so our bodies felt like it was really a few minutes before 4, Eastern Time. The time change was real nice coming, but going back will take a bit longer.

I’m sitting here in the Prayer Room at IHOP. The question that I continue to ask is, “What is it to know God for these next few days?” I can’t tell you how amazing it is to have absolutely no schedule, no expectations placed on me, to be completely free to do whatever I need to do to know God.

But what is that? I have no responsibilities – what does it look like to know Christ in a time of freedom like this? So far, it has included, 1). singing some with the always-playing worship team, 2). Sitting silently, thinking, 3). Being asleep, and 4). Thinking about healing.

IHOP includes an emphasis on healing. They have several healing rooms to my left and slightly behind me. The worship leader during the last set brought to us a prayer request for a man who had a stroke.

This led me to ask, “Why do we ask for healing? What’s the goal in seeking healing from God?” Certainly he must be able to heal, for He is God, the same God of the Old and New Testaments, who healed. Jesus healed people. God does not seem to be opposed to healing at all.

And yet, at the same time, I read verses about rejoicing in trials, about God being glorified in weakness, about weak people being those God can use. Just this past Sunday I heard some more of the story of a man in my home congregation who has had debilitating back pain for the past five years. I had taken part in a prayer meeting where we asked God for healing for his back.

This man would gladly work at the job he has had his whole life. He doesn’t to be in such a state that he is unable to work. He is not a slacker. Yet God does not enable him to work in this way.

Instead, he has been volunteering at a soup kitchen, with clothing drives, with all sorts of ministries aimed at people who have been dealt a bad hand in life. He is busier now than he ever was working. And he loves it.

The pain that kept him from working at his job, God used to put him in this ministry opportunity. He would not have started volunteering if he had been able to work, if he had been able to continue has he had all his life.

Something that it seems like I hear very often here at IHOP and its functions is that God desires for all of us to be whole, and healthy. Maybe I am merely misunderstanding what they mean by that, and I look forward to a chance to talk with someone here. But I don’t feel like I can quite agree with that statement, that God desires health for all of us.

That would be making health the goal of this life. I don’t agree that the point of life is health. If it is, God has been failing for quite a while now at that task. There are sooooooo many people both now and before our time who have been sick, diseased, hurt, and not ‘healthy.’ No, I don’t believe that the point of life is health. Not from God’s perspective.

If, however, the point of life is knowing God as who He is, however I am (whole, sick, weak, broken), then indeed that goal has been accomplishable.

“He is not far from each one of us.” (Acts 17:27)

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse. (Romans 1:20)

And so much good can come out of being broken, not being whole. Like the example of the guy from my congregation, so much good is being brought out of his terrible pain. This good would not have happened had he not had this back trouble.

So should we just accept whatever infirmities we get? Should I just accept my physical state as a gift from God that will help me serve other people, serve Him?

Maybe.

So why this emphasis on healing?

Is it because disease goes against the Very Good way that God created us? Is it because we are seeking to return to the way of living before the Fall, where we are in communion with God as with a friend – and sickness did not have a part of that?

Maybe.

Is it because I feel like I can serve better if I am not weighed down by this infirmity?

Maybe.

I was watching a man walk around here, who was a bit overweight. It’s not hard to be overweight in America. But you can work at losing weight, right? And, if you’re working at something, you’re going to talk about and share that goal/process/progress with the people around you who care about you, right? This would include God, it would seem. God cares about me, deeply. I am going to share with Him things that I’m working toward.

What about a cold? I can work toward getting rid of a cold – Vitamin C, sleep, Chicken Noodle Soup, etc. Now, I would share that with Jesus too – it’s something that is concerning me, so I share it.

How about a broken bone? I am going to go to a doctor, get it set, get a cast, and try to heal it up. That also is something that I’d share with Jesus; “Jesus, my arm is broken, I’m trying to help it heal. It hurts, it’s inconvenient. I’d like it to be healed. I know that I was not created to have a broken arm.”

How about cancer?

A stroke?

Once you start sharing your life with Jesus, there really isn’t a place that you stop. There’s no part of my life that just doesn’t concern Him. Including health, healing, and wholeness.

But, God can bring such good out of physical brokenness, too.

What to do?

Maybe both?

The Christian Churches/Churches of Christ often get a bad rap on healing. We pray, “God, if it is your will, please heal this person. But, you know better than we do, so do whatever you want.” (You’re going to anyway, so just do it.) And, that rap is deserved. I know MANY people who pray that type of prayer because they simply don’t believe that God either can or will heal people.

The fear is that the person won’t be healed. If they’re not healed, and I asked and had faith that they would be, what does that mean? That my God is too weak? That my faith is too weak? What happened?

I myself was that way for quite a while. It’s kind of like wishing – I’d sure like for this person to be healed, but I’d rather not risk my (almost non-existent) faith in case they aren’t. I’d rather give God an out, so I can continue believing in Him.

Well that’s no good! If my God could fail, how good is that God? He’s no better than the idols of gold and silver of the Old Testament. I believe in Him, sure, but He may not do anything. I make my offering so as not to make him angry, I do the right stuff – but I don’t believe that he truly has power.

If my God has no power, then there is no reason to fear Him. If I do not fear my God, if I don’t believe that he is both real and active, then I don’t have any reason to change. There is no reason (or power) to be reformed, to be changed, transformed by the renewing of my mind (Romans 12:2).

Oh, look at that!

The second half of that verse ties right back in!

Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind so that you may be able to test and approve what God’s will is – his good, pleasing, and perfect will.

If my mind is transformed because my God is powerful, I will be able to test and approve (find, see, and acknowledge) what God’s will is, what God is doing. This must relate to healing as well.

If my God is powerful, if I am changed by Him, if I am seeking to know who He is, what He is like, then I will be able to find His will for health and sickness.

Yes, we are created to be healthy. Yes we receive sicknesses, infirmities. Yes God uses both. Through knowing Him, then, I can know whether I am to accept illness, or seek healing.

Thus, in faith, is it possible that the seemingly wavering prayer that my church background taught me is acceptable before God? In faith, truly seeking and trusting, is it possible that I am indeed to say, “I don’t like this pain, this hurt, this unwholeness. The good I see is that it be taken away from me, (2 Corinthians 12:8-9. Yet if it is not taken away, I accept it and rejoice in how You will be glorified in it, and how I can seek and know You through it.

Maybe.

Peace . . .

2006-03-19T23:50:00.000-05:00

Spring Break has messed with my head. There are several things that I could be doing right now, preparing for this next week of school . . . and I'm not doing any of them. Instead, I watched three episodes of Seinfeld (fantastic show) with Justin, updated my xanga and my blog, talked with friends on AIM, and am considering going to bed real soon here.

A picture came up on my computer desktop that grabbed my attention. It was so . . . peaceful. I kinda want to go backpacking now. Enjoy these with me.

Peace to you

W-2's

2006-03-19T23:21:00.000-05:00

Okay, so who's upset because he def. can't find one of his W-2's?

Who def. put it in a safe place?

Who was pretty sure, after looking at home, that it was in his dorm room?

Who is pretty sure, after looking in his dorm room, that it must be at home?

Who is pretty sure that he needs another copy of his W-2, pronto?

Who lives in an age of abundance, and has to put all the STUFF he brought from home away?

You're guess is as good as mine - with all these clues, it'd better be!

-- edit --

oh, and who got a buzz cut?

-- edit edit --

Dude, I just found pictures that Impact Ministries (the hosting organization for Deeper d.t.i.) has on their website! There's some of me with my mohawk! Check 'em out!

Shopping . . . grrrrr

2006-03-16T23:19:00.000-05:00

I'm at home. That means,

1). Good food

2). Sleeping a lot

3). Free laundry

It also means

4). Dial-up internet

I'm weighing the benefits.

I went shopping today.

Grrrrrrr.

Right, the fact that I wear about the same fifteen shirts? Yeah, that should indicate that I don't so much do the whole shopping thing. But, for Celebration Singers, we're supposed to have grey pants and a black shirt. Well, I bought a black shirt off my roommate; lucky me. Gray pants, however . . .

oh, and which way do you prefer to spell it? Grey, or Gray? I'm not sure which I like better, so I use both.

First we went to Greensburg, the town near my village. Minears had black pants, blue pants, and khakis. No grey pants. There was a very nice old man though, I'd like to buy something from him sometime - aside from the fact that I simply don't buy clothes.

Off to Indianapolis. My sister needed to go up for Bible Bowl practice with the team she plays with, so during practice Mom and I went off to check in the large stores that should carry everything under the sun.

And, they do certainly carry everything under the sun. Except for gray pants, 28/32. Yes, I'm skinny, get over it. I have small feet too, take your pick, laugh at me for one or the other. I wear 7 1/2, maybe 8, men's.

Back to the stores. We looked. And looked. And looked. Macy's, JC Penny, Khols. And a side trip into Best Buy to look at external hard drives, my computer's getting full. Did you know that not many external hard drives available in your local Best Buy (if you live in Indy) come with both USB 2.0 and Firewire? They all seem to like USB. Which, is all fine and dandy, unless you want the speed of Firewire . . . which I do. I didn't end up getting anything tonight.

Back to the stores. (I'm almost writing this in real time, so you experience what I felt this evening). About the only thing that made it tolerable was a new jacket that my family brought back from Nebraska. It has a line-in that'll fit all mp3 players/cd players/etc. So as we traipsed from one store to another, up and down aisles, straining our eyes for grey pants that would fit my apparently slowly-wasting-away body. (Get it, wasting away, waisting away . . . wow, sometimes I amaze even myself). Hmmm, I didn't finish that sentence. So, as we traipsed from one store to another, up and down aisles, straining our eyes for gray pants that would fit me . . . I was rocking out with Phil Keaggy, his 220 album. In fact, that's what I'm listening to right now, if you couldn't tell from the little music box thing up there. That helped me smile and laugh at the fact that I might not have pants for choir tour - that would be interesting.

It was time to go, we needed to pick my sister up. My mom finally asked a sales lady, who confirmed that they just don't make waist sizes that much smaller than length, for dress pants. But, she recommended a 30/30 pair. Apparently you can go for a shorter length in dress pants, and it looks fine. The waist was a bit loose, but it can work. I'll have a belt.

We're on the other side of the mall from the car, and it's time to be gone. I really enjoy walking fast through malls, it almost makes me feel important. To walk fast with my Mom, that was pretty fun too. We were bookin' it!

Do you ever try to capitalize numbers? Or slashes? I do it all the time, it's really frustrating. I want to put special emphasis on the number, and it comes out this odd looking symbol. And the worst part is, I usually do it several times in a row with several numbers, 'cause I really wanted to emphasize that part of whatever I was writing . . . sheesh.

I don't shop for clothes. Especially expensive ones. Tim says chalk it up to the fact that we don't have to buy books for the class. That helps . . . a little.

I don't shop for clothes.

I have a nice pair of pants, however you spell their color. And I'm pretty sure they won't match anyone else's pants, unless you had the same difficulty as me. Lemme tell ya, it's getting harder and harder to be skinny in this country. I'm thinking of moving to Prague, where they appreciate slim people. But, they don't do socks so well there. My socks from the Czech Republic are TERRIBLE!!! But since I don't shop, I just keep using them. They're very durable too.

My great-great-grandmother was from Ireland. That's pretty cool.

I like pudding.

Beautiful Tears

2006-03-14T12:17:00.000-05:00

I read something beautiful today . . .

. . . and I cried a little.

Tears of joy.

That's a big deal, for me.

Thanks God.

*smile*

Some thoughts

2006-03-12T20:22:00.000-05:00

Today went very well. Last night melk drove down to Louisville, KY, to take part in the North Bullitt Christian Church service this morning. We played three songs, and performed a short sketch exemplifying how we spend time on so many other things, but neglect time with God. On both the way down and the way back we had some excellent time to talk with each other, sharing stories and laughter.

But the real reason I am posting is the sermon that I got to hear at the church. It was pretty much about just encountering Jesus and being changed by Him. It was great! I’d like to share some thoughts that came out of that.

Are you obedient, or holy? God calls us in 1 Peter 1:15-16, as well as in several other places, to be holy because He is holy. Obedience to God is not merely maintaining the status quo in following Him, but also doing whatever He asks. Obedience is good. But, you can train a dog to be obedient! Holiness is something different.

Now, I had learned this verse about being holy because God is holy growing up. As I had pondered it I had never really come to any concrete conclusion as to what it was to be holy because (and as) God is holy. I knew the definition of holy is “Something set apart.” But what did that mean for me? I just figured that it must be different for each person, and for different times of life. And this is true. But today, as the preacher was speaking, God gave a simple new explanation to me.

In the Old Testament, the Israelites were supposed to be a people holy to the Lord. They were set apart from their neighbors by the Law God gave them. Their dietary restrictions, the clean and unclean things, the feasts and complete dependence on God, all set them apart as the Lord’s people. Within the Israelites, the Levites were set apart to the service of the Lord. The things that made them holy were their external actions, their obedience to God’s Law.

For us, under the New Covenant of Jesus’ blood that brings us each into personal communion with God, things are a little different. We don’t have lists of rules that tell us how to be holy as God is holy. Instead of being set apart physically from all the sin and people around us, we are rather called to be set apart in our hearts. To be holy is to have a heart that is set apart for Just One Thing. Now, I realize that sounds a little simple. “Duh, Joel.” Yeah, the pursuit of God is simple – a child can understand it. But it’s not easy.

This is really, I’m realizing, just another facet of the same principle that I learned in Deeper. The question that I learned there was, “What do I need to do to be more intimate with God today?” This question is, “What do I need to do for my heart to be set apart to God today?” It’s the same question, just asked with different words. For our hearts, and thus our whole selves, to be set apart to God . . . wow. Lord that I would be caught up in You.

It’s time for me to go through the Psalms again. I had been in Genesis with Joseph, Exodus with Israel and God, then Deuteronomy being impressed with God’s awesome ultimate holiness, and how all of His decrees are for the purpose of bringing glory to Himself. Now, as I pour my heartcry out to God, it’s time to be in the Psalms again. Psalm 62:5-8.

-- philosophizing on returning home --

It’s kinda funny, returning home this time. My family is gone in Nebraska right now, visiting relatives and competing in the Nebraska Christian College Bible Bowl tournament. So I have time to contemplate. This house that I grew up in, will soon not be my home anymore.

The dogwood tree out front is budding; it will bloom soon. The crocuses are coming up; they’ll be red and yellow when they blossom. Little things are changing, being moved around in the house, rearranged to serve my family without me. It’s a little bittersweet. I am in the correct time of life for me now, but I’m not with my family. I’m not with them as they experience life, not able to share in the joys and sorrows like I could if I were here all the time. My little brother misses me something awful, and I’d say it’s a safe bet my sisters miss me too. I know Mom and Dad do. When I’m off at school or wherever else I am, I hardly give them a thought, caught up in what I’m doing, what I’m responsible for. I think that’s because I know that they are all here at home, and I will see them again. I’m not worried about never seeing them again, I just move in and out of my house and they move in and out of my life. Coming home reminds me they are still here – and that they won’t be for very much longer.

What a strange thing time is. It keeps moving onward. Why was I placed at exactly this place in time? Why was I blessed with exactly these parents, these siblings, and these advantages in life? I have been given the heritage of those who fear God’s name http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm%2061:5;&version=31;. I have been blessed in exceeding measure. There is a measure of sadness in the fact that never again will I be a part of my family in quite the same way. What does God have for me?

I want to protect my sisters, share with them things that I’m learning, and share their lives, because I love them. They have been given to me as people who share my life, people who love me, people who I want the best for. Sure they get a little annoying at times, but I dearly want good for them, not evil. I want to protect them, smooth the way for them, have fun with them. Maybe I should take them on a picnic. That would be fun. I love my sisters. And there is so much of their lives that I’m missing. Soon they will be gone, and I will see them less and less. Such a strange thing time is, going on and on, slowly separating some people. Have I been a good brother? What must I do to be a good brother now, so that I don’t look back on this time of life and grieve for opportunities I missed.

2 Timothy 1:7

2006-03-11T18:05:00.000-05:00

Much to write. Too much. I love Jesus, He's gently turning my focus to only Him, to Only One Thing. That's where it has to be. I hate the pain I cause when I take my eyes off Him. The verse in front of my eyes right now is 2 Timothy 1:7 - For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love, and of self-discipline.

For a long time God has been emphasizing the first part of that verse for me - being called not to fear, but to power. In fact, I was kinda curious why the rest of the verse was there, having a spirit of love and of self-discipline. But today, just this morning, as I look at it, I see that all three parts are integral. Think about it with me.

First of all, God did not give us a spirit of timidity, or fear. Fear is a strong driving force. For all without the hope of Christ's eternity, there is the fear of death. Even for those with the hope of Christ in glory, we can allow ourselves to be fearful, fearing that God's plan will not provide what we need. But God did not call us to fear. He did not give us a spirit that makes us afraid. His Spirit does not make us afraid! Are you reveling in your freedom from fear? Or are you remaining locked in fear?

Second, God GAVE us a spirit of Power! His Spirit is powerful. We have a spirit of power within us. Power does things. It acts. It drives. This can be a wonderful thing. It can also be detrimental, if we allow it to be. Power, unchecked, will destroy us and those around us. We are weak. Thus the next part is love.

In addition to power, we have a spirit of love. Colossians 3:14 says, "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity." Love binds, holds, smooths. The strength of power is controlled by the spirit of love that God gives us.

Finally, a spirit of self-discipline. Maintaining control over ourselves. We have power, it is tempered by love. But self-discipline is vital as well. Otherwise we are apt to do the right thing at the wrong time. I must continually bring myself into line with what I know God has for me right now.

As many of you know, I grew up with a tremendous self-discipline. Unfortunately, it was employed in the service of a lifeless head-knowledge of Jesus. I had a form of godliness, while denying it's power. I was perfect . . . but not.

God has been calling me out of that lifelessness, in a process that started with Deeper in the fall of 2004. Beginning this January, He has been calling me to accept my emotions as an integral part of me, and to express them. I started moving away from the extreme self-discipline that I had imposed upon myself. Yet, according to this verse, I am still called to self-discipline, still called to hold fast to what I KNOW is right, right alongside the spirit of power and the spirit of love that I have been given.

That's hard.

Thanks for your encouragement and support, for helping me along the way to simply One Pursuit. I appreciate it more than you know.

Just One Thing, again

2006-02-11T10:50:00.000-05:00

"Praise to the Lord, the Almighty, the King of Creation. Oh my soul praise Him for He is thy help and salvation. All ye who hear, now to his temple draw near. Join me in glad adoration!"

I let go today. I had been holding on to something very precious, afraid that if I let go that I could lose it. God finally broke through, in His gentle way. He's been confronting me with this for the past while, and I was just too afraid. While acknowledging that He was big enough to bless me with all that He has for me, I was still afraid.

But He broke through tonight. I was able to release it, to let go, to do what I knew was right. That's the first part of my story.

melk played tonight, for the youth group lock-in at the YMCA. Here's what I wrote to God before we left to pick up the equipment and instruments.

"Dear God, I praise you for the truths that you are going to reveal to these kids tonight. Thank you for an opportunity to be you here on earth. We give back these talents and these songs, in an attempt to bless you. You have given them, it's not like we are able to present anything new to you. But even so, we seek to bless your name, as a small child would bless his father simply by the tiny gift given with such devotion. I do indeed give over my all tonight Father. I have been fighting you. But I surrender. Again. Jesus, I love you. It's a love that you give to me, to give to you. I love you because you first loved me. I love you because you are my purpose. I'm sorry for holding back, for not trusting. I have damaged our relationship, and I'm sorry. Will you hold me tight, and wash me clean? Even when I am looking over your shoulder, instead of at your face, you hold me. I am still your son. I am your chosen, beloved one. Your favorite one. You look at me and say, "There he is, the one that I have picked for this role. Only he can fill it. Choose me, choose life, little one. I love you will all of my being. My heart beats for you. I am your all, I am what you were created for. Let me fill you. Trust me. Release the thing you have been clinging so tightly to. I will tear it out of your hands if I have to, because it is more important for you to know me." Yes Father, yes Jesus, yes Lord. I bow my sad heart to the working and convicting of the Holy Spirit within me. I am sad, I am scared, worried that Your plan isn't enough. But I praise you for loving me enough to discipline me, for you only discipline those you love. I seek to be in you for this time of singing and worship tonight. I want to be lost in your glory, to rejoice in your beauty, to be captivated by your majesty . . . and I seek for YOU, who YOU are, YOUR REALITY to be communicated to these kids. If just one of them could know the reality and truth of who you are tonight, Father . . . it would be worth my death, it would be worth all the mistakes and problems that will inevitably occur. I love you Father."

As Justin and I drove there, we sang and prayed, participating in worship. I had been praying that the worship set would be about Jesus. That it would be worshipful, that the kids would be able to see the reality of Jesus. That it wouldn't be just one more band up front leading them in singing, like they do every week.

We got there, set up, ran through stuff, and had about twenty minutes before we were supposed to start. I slipped off to the room where we were going to meet to pray before playing. As I sat there, I felt so clean and washed, having let go of what I had been holding on to. And, I felt the presence of God! It has been so long since I really simply felt the reality of Jesus being right there, being real. Being present. I was so glad and excited, and amazed. This close, open communion is what I must have. Realizing of course that we do indeed go in cycles, not always being on a high with Jesus. But, the feeling and the complete connection to reality was such a blessing.

It's just such an amazing feeling, looking at the reality around us, the reality that I see - four walls, a ceiling, a floor - and being certain that Jesus is there too, that Jesus is real, and that Jesus loves me. It's the simple fact of His reality and love that just makes me so amazed and filled up with joy. It's so incredible, sitting there and looking at Jesus, and letting love wash over me. I feel so childlike, so simple, when I come before the throne like this. I don't ever, ever, ever want to lose this feeling of simply being with Jesus, being loved. I know this entire thing sounds quite absurd if you haven't experienced it. I am not sure how I would have responded to me in this situation, before I knew about this. But I pray that this story could bring you one step closer to knowing Jesus this way - as a real, loving individual, who simply enjoys being with you.

Anyway . . .

We started playing, the kids were singing. As we sang, some sang out to our Lord with all of their might. Some sang half-heartedly, with quizzical expressions on their faces. Some kids just sat there blankly. And at least half of the kids started conversations with their neighbors. In any other setting, and probably at any other time, I would have been a little offended. Here we were playing, and they're busy talking to their neighbor. More than that, they're ignoring this chance to worship God through song.

It was just as I was starting to get frustrated with the kids that the Holy Spirit reminded me of what I had prayed leading up to playing, and the true purpose that I had in being there - worshipping God myself. As long as I was worshipping God, it didn't really matter what the people around me were doing. And that principle, in fact, applies to all of life. Since all of life is worship, and our only purpose is to know Jesus more intimately each day, it doesn't really have to matter so much whether the people around us are worshipping God or not - as much as we want them to, and they should.

That is a very freeing principle. That nothing else matters other than intimacy with Jesus. I struggle to hold tight to that, but I do believe that simply knowing Jesus is the only goal/purpose we were created to fulfill in this life. And that then everything else comes out of that. The freedom comes from not having to worry about ANYTHING else! What other people are thinking (a big one for me, being free to just be who I am, not always checking to see how other people are responding - thank you Jesus from setting me free from that prison!), the activities other people are engaged in (it's just much more important for me to spend time knowing Jesus right now), the responsibilities that are pressing in, all the rest of life. Just one priority, just One Thing. This comes in part from Luke 10:41-42.

You can check out the context to brush up on the story and see how this fits into everything, but the basic principle is laid out right there. We get worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary chose to sit at the Master's feet, just intent on knowing Him. Everything else in life can be taken away from us - possessions, money, friends, family, spouses (eventually, for most of us), health, limbs, even our memory. But our relationship with Jesus, that cannot be taken away from us. If we are living for the next life, even while being engaged in living here, only the stuff that will last into the next life has much significance at all! Only people and God's word will last forever. My responsibility is to know Jesus, and allow everything else to come out of that. If you would like a definition of the word everything, talk to me. If you just can't see how something in particular could come out of the simple pursuit of God, talk to me. And when I say talk to me, I really mean talk to God, and I'd be more than willing to try to say God's words.

Just one thing, 'cause Jesus is REAL!!!!!!

Dryness and Honor

2006-01-22T00:05:00.000-05:00

I've lately had this terrible spiritual dryness, not feeling the presence and the reality of God. This is, I feel now, based in God helping me grow, helping me seek to seek Him more, as, again, the One and Only Thing.

Today I was again bemoaning to Him how I didn't 'feel' Him. He feels so distant, as if I am walking in a dry barren wasteland. The sky seems hard and shut, the ground stony and unyielding. Other things, stuff other than God, seems much more real and comforting than Him right now.

As I lay there on my bed, I asked God, "Why are you doing this? Why are you allowing other things to be more real to me, than you are right now? I feel so far away, why!?"

And He brought me to realize that this is an opportunity, a chance to choose Him once more. If we felt Him all the time, what glory would we bring Him if we made the then-obvious choice of remaining in Him? It brings no glory, no honor, for me to make the obvious choice between choosing Him and the amazing feeling of JOY that He brings . . . but for me to choose Him even when I do not receive any immediate benefit, when I do not immediately feel Him, that is the proclamation of His greater goodness. To imitate Him (cross) in choosing that which I know is better, over what feels good right now, that is an essential part of the pursuit of Christ.

God's allowing me to choose Him, allowing me to bring Him honor.

At the same time, it's still a little frustrating.

I have learned that it's a bad idea to confine the pursuit of Jesus to merely thinking about Him and praying to Him. The third leg of seeking is, obviously, His Word. I am working on seeking to know who this Jesus really is, as shown by how he interacts with people. But in this state of dryness, it's been a little difficult. As I cracked open my Bible and started looking for where I had last left off in Matthew, that sense of dryness came crashing in again. It was really disheartening, looking at God's inspired Word, and feeling profoundly uninspired.

So, although I didn't feel like it, I prayed. I asked God to give me something to read, something that wasn't just words on the page.

My eyes hit Matt. 20:29-34.

These blind guys. They ask Jesus for mercy. He has, ultimately (theological discussion here), allowed them to be as they are, blind. But they know there is something more. Jesus asks, "What do you want me to do for you?" They say, "Lord, we want our sight."

They are asking for the same thing I am asking for, to see. I need to see Jesus working, to know Him in His reality. So, I asked along with them, "Jesus, I want to see." He said, "What you are asking for will be painful. A barren desert surrounds you, a dry land that you cannot survive in." I said, "I know, but I must see you. Whatever else, if I am going to pursue You, I have to see You in that desert."

Which, really, who can survive in that desert, without the water that He gives? Who can maintain a pursuit of Him apart from Him? That's the whole point of John 15:1-8, remaining in the vine.

Matt. 8:31 records what happened next: "Jesus had compassion on them and touched their eyes. Immediately they received their sight and followed him."

That's what I want.

Success?

2006-01-12T12:34:00.000-05:00

We had an interesting question in class. Well, two applications of the same question.

What defines a successful man? What makes other people look up to a man?

What defines a successful woman? What makes other people look up to a woman?

After thinking about this, I wondered, "Is to be successful ultimately defined as being able to both determine and execute the correct response pattern in any situation." ?

And when I say success, I mean success as defined in a world without God.

Here's the definition of success that I've come to adopt.

What do you think?

The Onething Conference

2006-01-05T22:02:00.000-05:00

This is not exactly a fun post.

I have long been a little suspicious of emotion. People in the grip of emotion, not thinking logically, have done many, many terrible things. I have not been personally affected by this phenomenon, but it is most assuredly common. Example: WWII on the European front. If Hitler had not been able to emotionally sway people to follow him he would not have had the resources to take over Germany’s government, and attempt to take over the world. Without emotion, there would have been no Third Reich, no Holocaust. Emotion was hijacked and used for personal gain. That would be one example of emotion used for the purpose of evil. In countless cases the terrible story of emotion clouding logic is played out through murders and abuse every day, across America and the world.

Thus, I was a bit leery of emotion, and wanted to get rid of mine. It seemed that life would be so much easier if I could just live out of my head, where I knew the right things to do, instead of wading through my emotions. For those of you who have heard the story of me growing up, I indeed usually knew the right things to do.

I was the “good kid,” the one who always did everything right. I went to Sunday School my whole life, I knew all the answers. I became very, very good at controlling myself externally. I can hide just about anything beneath a calm exterior and I’m good at lying. I think that’s one of the reasons I enjoy acting, though I’m not nearly as good at it as I thought I was.

But that’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about emotion. And it would seem that a vast majority of the problems in the world would be eliminated if we weren’t such emotional creatures. I of course realized that since God created us with emotion, it must be good; I just had a real hard time seeing how.

I am, or try to be, a very logical person. I really enjoy listening to logical teaching, being able to think through processes, and debate with my friends. Each time I like to see how things connect, what implications are necessarily present, and where there is a logic fault that must be addressed.

I hate, really hate, simple emotional appeals. If you can’t convince me of something with a good, reasonable process, you can hit the road buddy. I refuse to be swayed by mere guilt trips – and in Christ I have the freedom and backing to do so.

This had not come without some sacrifices, if that’s what you call them. The by-product of me always keeping myself under such a tight rein, always controlling my external self, was that I was oftentimes unable to let emotion sweep over me. At those CIY’s and ICYC’s (Indiana Christian Youth Convention, I’m sure your state had it’s own version – TCTC, PCTC, ICTC, and KCYC to name a few), not to mention (so I’m mentioning them) the NMC’s and NACC’s (National Missionary Conventions and North American Christian Conventions, respectively) I was never able to join those people up front jumping up and down to the music, having a great time.
Yes, part of that was also my self-consciousness, constantly worrying about what other people were thinking of me. But whenever I would try to do the whole jumping thing, I just kept thinking, “Why am I doing this? This is stupid.” So I’d just go back to my chair and enjoy the drumbeats.

Oh, and I grew up in a Restoration Movement church, so I had that background too. Where we stand in our pew, sing the songs, listen to the preacher, and go home. No emotional involvement emphasized.

About a month or two ago I came to the realization that:
1) We, as human beings, are DRIVEN by emotion. That’s how God created us. It is emotion that allows us to do virtually anything we set our minds too – besides being created in God’s image. Wait, maybe that’s the same thing . . .
2) We, as fallen human beings, must bound our emotion with logic. Because what ‘feels’ right often isn’t.
3) We, as equally fallen human beings, must bind our logic with God. Jesus, specifically.
4) Thus, Jesus must inform our logic, which must inform our emotions.

But even so, I still have a lifetime of logic/emotion in my past. And while I’ve come to appreciate emotion more, I’m still very much a logical person. Newton’s Law is my own.

Summary: I like logic, and am learning to like emotion.

That was the background to what I need to write. You had to understand where I was coming from.

I was privileged to attend the Onething conference in Kansas City, Missouri, from Jan. 27 – 31. Now, anyone who has been reading my posts, Joeletters, or known me from Deeper last year ‘till now, knows that that title for a conference really, really excites me. The concept that our only point and goal in life is to know Christ more intimately each day, that we are to make Him our OneThing – that that’s what life’s about. You know how much that fires me up.

We arrived at the convention center during the 7:00 p.m. main session. It was the usual good fun loud music, people up front jumping. But a difference between the CIY’s, ICYC’s, NMC’s, and NACC’s, and this conference, quickly became apparent. The worship times were VERY emotionally driven. They took a song and played it for at least 10 minutes, using the dynamics of the song to lead us up and down emotionally – you know, louder/softer, intense/peaceful, (no key changes that I remember, which in retrospect surprises me).

They would just get caught up in the song, it seemed, and sing parts of it over and over. I started to understand how people raised on hymns must feel about these new-fangled choruses. At a certain point in each song I was emotioned out, and just stood numbly singing. Have we mentioned my ability to outwardly worship, while inwardly being approximately eighty-seven-and-one-half miles away? I’m really good at it. My voice takes over; I can harmonize, sing melody, even move my body to some small degree. All the while, my mind is completely gone.

Then we’d move on to a new song and start the process over again. And it seemed that every song was it’s own little session unto itself, from my perspective. They’d take one song, run us through the gamut of emotions (happy, sad, energetic, peaceful, pumping your fist - a simple raised hand - just swaying with the music), the entire rollercoaster. They’d usually end the song nice and gentle. Then they’d take the next song, and do the exact same thing! Start gentle, or rock hard, go up and down, in and out, repeat it about 35 times, and end.

Well, coming from my personal background of being suspicious of pure emotional appeals, as well as being a Restoration pewstander (that’s copyrighted, I made it up), as well as expecting a song to end after we had sung all of the words, that sorta ruffled my feathers. It’s all good though, I figured.

Next came the preaching time. Now I started getting angry. The more I heard, the more it seemed to me that this guy was just preaching his opinion on the Bible. He gave a few verses to support a few points, but mostly he just seemed to be an impassioned opinionator. That doesn’t sit well with me. Like the Bereans, I need to be able to track with a speaker’s logic train, as well as his or her Biblical sources, to determine if what they’re saying is compatible with God’s truth. (Acts 16:11)

And he was preaching on stuff that I wasn’t really at all familiar with, even with my 19 years in the church. He was coming from a different tradition. So here I was, listening to something that I had no real previous knowledge of, and hearing conclusions without supporting facts. It wasn’t working for me. The majority of the audience didn’t seem to have the same reservations as I did, for spontaneous applause and amen’ing would break out when he made a particularly impassioned point. (Also something my Restoration background didn’t emphasize.)

But, I figured, give the guy a chance; this is just one sermon after all. And I don’t have any problem with passion in oratory, or applause and amen’ing. Just because it doesn’t fit into my background doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

We went home, slept precious little, and got back the next day in time for the first (9:00 a.m.) main session of the day. Much to my chagrin, little had changed. The music was the same – excellent, but seemed overplayed. The sermon was by the same guy as the first night. I settled back and readied myself to give the guy another fair hearing. But again, he used a few verses and mostly orated. He was really passionate about was he was saying, but I still hadn’t really ever been introduced to the concepts before. He wasn’t giving me much to believe on, other than his word. If you’re not preaching God’s word in context, it takes a lot more for me to trust what you’re saying.

This was how the majority of the conference progressed. Emotion emotion emotion. And I kept getting angry. It got to the point where I couldn’t stand to listen to the guy speak. This all came to a head Friday night, during the evening main session. I just couldn’t take it anymore. I left my seat and walked out, trying to find some place where I could just be quiet and sit. My heart was in turmoil.

I ended up sitting on the floor up against a wall. I just kept asking God where the fault lay, and for someone to explain to me what I didn’t understand. Then it occurred to me that the next day, Saturday, the IHOP staff were inviting us to join them in a fast. I decided to fast also, simply asking God for understanding and reconciliation of all the things I didn’t understand.

That night, as we were going to bed, I started asking Micah, one of the guys I went with, some of the questions that I had. That was a real blessing from God, to start being able to understand some things. According to Micah, the speaker guy who was making me so angry because he seemed to be preaching just his opinions DID actually use references in his teaching materials. Just because of the constraints of the conference, Micah said, did he skip the references and just teach what he had been learning. That helped to hear.

The next day, Saturday, was so good. God took that fast and helped my attitude and my understanding to come 172 degrees around. I realized that in the last month or so I had lost the initial emotion that had actually come when I came to understand that there is a real God. These people were not being swayed by something wrong by allowing themselves to be caught up in the love of God. Just because it was more expressive than I was used to didn’t mean that it was incorrect. Emotional worship, in all actuality, is as perfectly acceptable as staid, liturgical worship.

I found that my focus had slipped again, not being solely devoted to Jesus. The conference reminded me that I really have only one goal. To my extreme sadness the emotional joy I had found in Jesus when I first realized that He was real had slowly evaporated, and even now I am currently still seeking to regain that single-minded devotion. But now that loss is on my mind, and something that I am asking Jesus to fix.

I would really appreciate your prayers, these past few days have been a little rough. In addition to feeling physically down from a cold/fever, I have not yet been brought back into that feeling of joy because of Jesus – and I really miss it. Basically, I’ve lost the feeling of being loved by Jesus, and it bites.

Also, whether from sleep deprivation or what, I don’t know, but my body continues to be really tired, and my mind will randomly decide, “Well, that’s enough cognitive processing for now; Shut ‘er down.” And I just walk around in a daze. If this continues next week, during my early week class, I’m gonna have a problem!

Humor

2006-01-04T21:59:00.000-05:00

"Listen carefully. I can only tell you this once, 'cause I promised not to repeat it."

Aight y'all, I'm working on writing out the lessons, thoughts, and growing that happened this past week at the Onething conference in Missouri. Until that gets finished, I've collected this humor for you to enjoy.

Two mothers were talking about their daughters. One said, "Yes, my daughter is very good. She just has one fault: she fibs constantly.

"So I sat her down and told her the story of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. I finished by telling her how when the wolf actually came, nobody ran to his rescue because of all the times he had lied before. She sat there thoughtfully for a moment, then looked up at me and said,
"You know, I was eaten by a wolf once . . ."

While looking for a research book in the CCU library, I quite by accident stumbled across this completely different little gem of a book, entitled, "A Modern Look At Modesty." The book was not new looking, so I picked it up and looked at the copyright information.

I don't know how many of you have heard my opinion on modesty. Briefly, it's this: I REALLY appreciate it if you're modest, but you CANNOT be held responsible for my mind. It is my responsibility before God to guard my mind, heart, and eyes. It's not your job. Whatever you wear, people can lust. It's a choice, not an involuntary reaction. And that goes for both guys and girls, though from my personal perspective it would be more directed at girls. So, whatever you wear is between you and God. It's my job not to lust. And because of Christ is it possible.

That's why I found this book extremely humorous. The author did not share my opinion, but subscribed to the widely held view that it's a woman's job to keep a guy from lusting. That led to some fascinating conclusions. I jotted down the best of these for you to enjoy with me. The book's still there, copyrighted 1965.

"Incidentally, even the logic of a purely humorous approach to wearing shorts should be sufficient to discourage an honest woman from wearing them. If she's skinny, she looks like two fence posts in them; and common sense should keep her from wearing them. A heavy woman resembles the back end of a truck, and she has even more reason (forgive the pun) for not being seen in shorts. And if a woman really looks good in them, she for sure should not wear them."

"Backless shoes add to her general bedroom atmosphere."

On depravity in advertising:
"Or this advertisement of a swimsuit, "If she's got it, these suits show it."

"Another is a man who has just gotten out of a car that has been badly damaged. He has crashed into a concrete pole on the sidewalk. He is beside the damaged car and calling after someone: "You and your skin tight, flesh-colored Capri pants!"

Here's the kicker. And, he's got me for the first couple sentences. Then . . .

Men are attracted to femininity. That's the way God made them. They like girls who dress with oodles of ribbons and bows. The like fluffy, frilly dress with skirts that have lots of swishy petticoats. They like blowy hair and soft, white skin. There's nothing wrong with being every inch a girl.

ROTFLMHO

A lot of learning

2005-11-05T22:08:00.000-05:00

Wow. There's been a lot of learning tonight.

I went to Voice Cincinnati tonight, after having to miss it last week. It was such a blessing again tonight, to spend time in personal worship, and in receiving a message (albeit through a cd).

On the ride there, I started to think about some of the things that God is doing in my life. I realized that there has been a theme of giving up good things, for Him. Not giving up in terms of quitting, but in terms of surrendering. Each of these things are good things, that God has created for blessing. But while good, they are things that cannot become a focus of mine at all, but rather something that comes out of my pursuit of Jesus. So, He's asked me if I am able to give them up, for Him.

I've been asked to:
♦ Not pursue a girl I liked, because it would be a distraction from my pursuit of God
♦ Make playing with melk about praising and honoring God, not just about myself having fun
♦ Allow someone whose friendship over the years has blessed me so much, and who is closely intertwined with my life, to move further away from me
♦ and, now, a new one. Keep reading.

At Voice Cincinnati, the speaker kept reinforcing this absurdly simple, yet incredibly radical idea. It's the same truth that I learned last year in Deeper. It's that our only focus in life is to know Christ intimately. That's it. Not evangelism, which is supposed to come out of knowing Jesus. Not a career, not a ministry. That the only point in life, the only thing that our lives are made for, is knowing Christ more intimately every day.

As I was sitting there, listening, it came to me,

"Can you give up being married, for Me?"

Now, I have looked forward to marriage for a really long time. A Really Long Time. I have looked forward to the close friendship that will last a lifetime, the intimate knowing of who the other half of me really is. What makes them laugh and cry, what lifts them up. Sharing life together, experiencing the vitality of facing God's creation and laughing with exhilaration. I have looked forward to the deep, intense friendship that marriage is supposed to mean.

And then the question, "Can you give up being married, for Me?"

I have not really dated at all up 'till now, for several reasons. One of them is that I am not in the time or place in my life to devote myself to another person. I'm just too selfish, and not willing to give up my time. That has freed me to do other things, like excelling at Bible Bowl, downhill snow skiing, Boy Scouts, and drumming.

God took this background, along with all that I've been reading about Paul for my Acts class, and said, "See how much more useful you could be, how much more able you could be to respond to me?

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul says it like this:

29 What I mean, brothers, is that the time is short. From now on those who have wives should live as if they had none; 30 those who mourn, as if they did not; those who are happy, as if they were not; those who buy something, as if it were not theirs to keep; 31 those who use the things of the world, as if not engrossed in them. For this world in its present form is passing away.

32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord's affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord's affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband. 35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

For those of you who, like me, usually skip the large blocks of text, what he just said was that we are more free to just focus on God's work when we are not married. Married people have a God-given obligation to care for their spouse and family, before anything else. Unmarried people have only God to be concerned about.

Now, I don't take this as an iron-clad decree from on high. This is a question that God is asking me. But, I must answer it in complete sincerity, knowing that how I answer may very well determine a large part of the rest of this life.

Have you ever seen something so beautiful, so exquisite, that you just cried when you saw it? Something so incredibly awesome that it hurt? And they are tears of joy, of happiness. But something so lovely that the only response possible is to cry?

As I was riding back to campus, God showed me a picture of myself, when I'm eighty or ninety. Old, feeble, frail. Not in a bad or disrespectful way at all, but just recognizing the fact that these bodies don't last like they used to.

A picture of me, looking back on my life. Me, thinking of each thing that I've been involved in, each fragment of life. And then seeing the one thread that ran through all of them, the One Thing that bound every single part of my life together. A simple-minded, single-hearted pursuit of intimacy with Christ. And it was so beautiful! To see someone who had poured themself out like a drink offering, basing all of themselves on the simple pursuit of the Lord.

I cried, riding back to campus. I cried out to God, telling Him that I'd much rather be not married, if it meant knowing Him more. I cried over the possibility that I might not marry. I cried at the sight of this life, single-mindedly devoted to Christ. I am not a person who cries, as a general rule. Yet I cried. Tears of joy and sorrow; the only emotion that I could find was crying. Because this exquisite beauty, this intense joy that I was allowed to taste, is the love my Savior feels for me every second.

Intense.

Passionate.

Deep.

Gentle.

Irresistible.

Love.

That's my God.

Pillow Romp

2005-09-05T22:11:00.000-05:00

Woohoo! I feel invigorated. Which, right before bed isn't always the best thing.

So, I was laying in my bed, trying to go to sleep. Tim was still up, working on some things. And I just keep making jokes. For example, you know Mandy Metcalf's phrase that she keeps using?

And finally Tim grabs his pillow and takes a swing at me. Me, being the meek person that I am, (meek merely means controlled power), instantly retaliate.

I'm not sure who all reading this has seen my pillow, but I definitely have the advantage. My pillow is at least 1/3 longer than normal pillows. Tim and I were trading blows like professional pillow fighters. He eventually quails before my fierce assualt and runs for the door. Which you can open from the inside, but not from the outside. And Kyle is just across the hall.

Kyle joins in the fun with his own pillow! Meanwhile, I'm listening and chuckling behind my door. I eventually open the door and fight Kyle myself. Tim just trades places with me, and closes the locked door behind him. I'm out in the cold now.

Well, Kyle and I have a nice, short wrestle, during which we each pin each other, as well as disable each other's pillow arms. Tim comes out and rescues me, and we gang up on Kyle. Never fight two skinny guys at the same time, they rock!!!

Well, now I'm totally out of breath, and way to excited to go to sleep. I love college.

And then I found five dollars.

A Wonderful Simile

2005-08-27T19:20:00.000-05:00

Last Wednesday night Jesus showed me a wonderful simile. We were all standing around the grass circle in front of the chapel. Each of us held an unlit candle. My eyes were drawn irresistibly to the big spotlight machine in the center of our circle. I kept watching the beams of light as they circled and crossed. They continued to fascinate me as we began singing.

Then a married couple approached me. Stephanie, the person standing on my left, and I, scooted apart to let them into the circle. Both the husband and wife held a lit candle, flaring against the darkness. It dawned on me that I had been chosen as next in line to start spreading the flame from lit candle to unlit one. I felt honored.

I carefully held my wick to his flame, waiting for it to begin burning. Then, just as carefully, I offered my newly lit candle to Eric, standing to my right. My part in the process done, I turned my eyes back to the large light beams in the center of the circle.

But not for long! Eric had carelessly let his candle go out. I gladly held my bright flame to his wick again. But in bringing my candle back in front of me, a stray gust of wind almost blew mine out! I quickly cupped my hand around the flame, warding off any more wandering breezes.

This, however, proved more difficult than it sounded. The night suddenly seemed filled with eddies of wind, fluttering this way and that. Every time I attempted to watch the light beams, I would have to quickly look back down at my own flame. In fact, I realized that I had to give up almost all other outside activities to guard the flame.

At this moment I was given a wonderful word-picture for our life with Christ. I had to focus solely on my flame just to keep it burning. In the same way, we each have been given one task, one responsibility to keep our flame burning. And that is to focus on Jesus as the only thing in our lives. Not that we don’t do other things! But that everything we do is for the purpose of knowing Christ more intimately.

Whether I am attending class, writing a paper, or enjoying recreation, the ultimate goal is spending that time learning from and about different aspects of God. Only in knowing God more intimately each day will I truly allow my flame to burn in the way it was created to.

The Fiddler On The Roof

2005-08-06T21:05:00.000-05:00

I love The Fiddler On The Roof.

I had forgotten how much I enjoyed the music, the humor, and the emotions present in this fantastic story. Last night, I remembered.

The Batesville High School auditorium hosted a community theater event by the RAA, the Rural Alliance for the Arts.

This is the same RAA that sponsors PrairieFire Children's Theater each summer. My sisters, and some of my cousins, have participated in these productions for the past few summers, performing Aladdin, Snow White, Alice in Wonderland, and others.

But last night was The Fiddler On The Roof. And, while we couldn't expect them to be Broadway-perfect, the actors still did a tremendous job.

My new quote from the play last night is, "There is no other hand." This line is uttered by Tevya as he is debating with himself. Tevya is famous for comparing the pros and cons with each other, beginning each sentence with, "On the other hand . . ."

The particular incident occurs as his third daughter asks for his blessing on her engagement to a Gentile. Previously, his first and second daughters had, in effect, chosen their own husbands-to-be. These fortunate men, however, had both been Jewish.

When comparing everything else with how much he wanted happiness for his two elder daughters, he always ended up "on the other hand" in their favor.

But when it came down to what his third daughter wanted, he had to choose between his daughter, and his faith. This faith, so very real to him, the very foundation of his being. His daughter, his own flesh and blood, the very sweetest of his children.

He recognized that to bend so far would be to break. While comparing "other hands," he quickly came to the conclusion, "There is no other hand."

Such may our life in the pursuit of God be.

Today, Saturday, we had another mandatory eight hours at work. Which, actually, was fine by me. I, like last Saturday, was planning to work anyway. Making it mandatory just meant that I got to work on my 'home line,' 253, with the people that I knew. It was a pretty good day.

Tomorrow, Sunday afternoon, some of my sisters, my Dad, and I are going up to Indy. One of our Bible Bowl friends is hosting a party, and we are invited. It's been a while since I've been to a party. I'm trying to decide what to wear . . . just kidding! I really don't care.

Just a week and a half of work left, I plan to work through the 17th. Aug. 20th, I'm moving in to my dorm!!!!!! I'm quite excited.

And, you'll all be excited to know, my sixty days on my newest Driving Permit are up today. Next Friday, at 3:30, I will take my driving test for a real license! It still makes me laugh, slightly bitterly, that the BMV wouldn't let me take the test just 'cause I got another permit. Oh well, it will be behind me soon enough.

In His Time,

Prayer Meeting

2005-08-02T21:00:00.000-05:00

Last night I attended a prayer meeting with my Mom. As it turned out, the meeting was only supposed to be for us two, since nobody else showed up.

Our church building was smelling like LP gas for some reason, so Mom and I sat outside on the church steps. It was a nice evening, warm, fairly quiet. Birds were chirping, I could smell the sweet freshness of the country. My eyes wandered across the green of the tree leaves and the grass blades, across the parking lot.

We began the meeting with silence, just being quiet. At first I focused on just being, not thinking in words. After a few minutes of this, I started thinking about our church property. I began looking for where God was, and where He was working.

My mind was drawn to our sanctuary, empty at the moment. I mentioned once before that I've been reading in Leviticus and now Deuteronomy, two books of Law. And I pictured our sanctuary continually filled with the sweet incense of praise and worship. Just as the tabernacle and temple would have been filled night and day with the burnt offerings going up before God.

"Yes," I thought, "that is the center. Our praise and worship of God, our seeking Him, is the center and beginning of all that we should try to do." This meeting was to pray for our leaders, elders and the like, as they lead our church through some decisions. And worship and praise, they should be the center.

Mom and I sang "I See The Lord" together, praying that our leaders can be committed to seeing the Lord above all things. And that the focus can be on Him.

As we finished singing, a father and son rode their bikes by on the road. They are neighbors from down the road, and we waved at each other. Just then the boy called ahead to his father, in a young, vulnerable voice, "Where are we going now?"

The father, a muscular man in a yellow shirt, paused in his pedaling. Looking back over his shoulder, he called out, "Just ride. Come on!"

Mom and I waited as they passed by, and then with tears in our eyes shared an incredulous laugh. Us, the young children had been sitting there calling out, "Where are we going now?" Our strong father had seen fit to answer us.

I tried to get past that, to keep praying. But I couldn't. It just kept leaping back into my mind. "Just ride. Come on!"

I've been given my orders!

Joeletter 12.4

2005-07-31T10:42:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

After Monday and Tuesday, the rest of this week has been great at work. The temperature dropped from having 77's to having 58's at 5:30 in the morning, and from having 97's to having 79's at 2:15. Even without a fan, it has been quite comfortable on line 253. I've been loading the plater fairly regularly, and even did it all day a couple times.

Another good friend of mine had her last day of work on Wednesday, lessening the temp. ranks once again. She had (has) a great smile, and is a hard worker. We all miss her.

On Thursday Delta held it's annual Cookout for all the employees. Instead of packing a lunch and eating it in the cafeteria, we all trooped outside for our twenty-minute break. They had erected a large tent in the parking lot and grilled up juicy steaks. If you preferred, you could have chicken instead. They offered us tasty scalloped potatoes and green beans. Ice cream and peach or berry cobbler rounded out the meal. It was quite fantastic, and according to the regular workers it was the best meal that Delta had served in at least five years.

Today, Saturday, we had mandatory overtime. I heard various reasons for why we were all required to come in. One was that Monday and Tuesday being so hot, we didn't get as much work done.

Whatever the case, today was probably the best overtime that I have worked yet. Since everybody was coming in, all the lines were running. This meant I was able to work on my home line, 253, all day. And, all my friends were there today too. It was basically a regular week-day of work, except we were being paid time-and-a-half. I enjoyed it.

Changing gears . . . . .

I really love my little 7-year-old brother. He's great. It's fun to play with him, and do things together. He gives great hugs, and is always enthusiastic.

But he doesn't seem to understand that I just love him. Unreservedly. Whatever he might do, even if I get angry, I still love him. There is nothing that would keep me from loving him.

He seems to think he needs to earn my love. He tries to tell jokes (usually unsuccessfully) so that I'll think he's funny. He's always talking! He tells me things that he's thinking, asks me questions, and keeps talking.

And it's great. He is allowing me to share his life, to be his older brother. This is how it's supposed to be. But sometimes I just want him to be able to sit in silence. I'd like to savor just being together, each of us working on whatever we happen to be doing. To listen, for long periods of time. To be secure in our relationship, knowing that I will always, unconditionally love him.

It's the same way with God, I think. All of our talking, questioning, sharing, all of it, is exactly what we need to do. We need to be constantly opening up our life to Him. But then we also need to make times to sit in silence. Not just being quiet. But being quiet before Him.

Not trying to impress God. Our attempts at impressing Him really just distract us, and are thus annoying. But taking a break from always talking, and always asking, to listen.

God intensely desires that we speak with Him, that we verbally share our hearts, lives, and thoughts with Him. But He also desires that we listen. Much has been taught, and rightly so, on listening through His Word. But we oftentimes neglect to listen in silence as well. Trusting that Jesus is speaking, and that we can hear Him. Part of speaking, is listening.

While I was in Taize, France, at the ecumenical prayer community, I was given the chance to experience this firsthand. I've already written about this before, but it bears repeating.

During each service, immediately before or after a meal, we joined in a time of singing and a time of silence. The first service, I didn't know quite what to expect. And the time of silence seemed a little long.

After that, I was always startled when the silence was over. I always wanted it to last longer. There is something precious in sitting or kneeling quietly, free to merely sit in God's presence. No requests, not necessarily a subject. Just sitting, thinking about and before God.

It might sound kinda boring. It might feel kinda boring, at first. Here at home, I set a timer for fifteen minutes. I commit to staying there and quiet until the beeper goes off. And with time it becomes so much more meaningful.

Sitting in silence is very easy to put off, let me warn you. I, sadly, am lucky to make time once a week. It's not something that comes up and demands doing. It's just like dating and marriage, in that you have to set aside time, and make an effort. When was the last time you accidentally went on a date, or spent time with your spouse? Same principle.

And God is speaking to us. He guarantees that. We can hear Him. He guarantees that too. All it takes is a little time.

Thanks for your interest, prayers, and notes to me on the Harry Potter writing that I'm doing. I have set up a second xanga site to post all of that too. If you're interested in this subject, that is where I'm encouraging everyone to go to. And if you're not interested, this way it won't intrude upon your life. Thanks so much for your prayers.

In His Time,

Heat Index 110F

2005-07-26T20:04:00.000-05:00

So, the past two days have had a Heat Index of 110F. I worked both of them. I don't want to whine, so that's all I'll say. Oh, except we did have a fan both days. Speaking of whining, in church on Sunday one of the elders asked us, "What's the difference between a farmer, and a puppy?" Remember, I live in a farming community. Okay, here it is. "The puppy will eventually learn to stop whining! "We all got a kick out of that. I went to the doctor for a physical examination yesterday, to make sure I wasn't going to die in college. All seems to have gone well, and tomorrow (Wed) I go back in to make sure I don't have tuberculosis. Fun fun fun!

I've been reading devotionally in Leviticus, all about the law. (Hey, quiet in the peanut gallery!) The law places quite a lot of emphasis on 'clean' and 'unclean' before God. This is both cleanness of the body, and cleanness of the heart.

As Dad and I were driving home from work a couple days ago, we turned onto a road behind a Bausback Rendering truck. For those of you who don't live in farm communities, you may not be familiar with this kind of truck.It is a big, green, farm-style truck. Not like a pickup, or even a full-sized truck. It's the Big One, designed to haul large amounts of stuff. In the large, tall bed of this particular kind of truck they carry just one thing. Dead animals.You see, in farming communities, animals die. We don't particularly want them to, because that lowers the profit margin. But, they do anyway, jerks.

Each farm has a 'drop-box' located somewhere by a roadway. Inside this 2x4 enclosed square the dead pigs, cows, and other bodies are put. The green truck comes along, picks up the dead animals, and takes them back to the plant to be rendered.

Anyway, Dad and I turn onto the road behind this truck. We can see pig legs sticking above the truckbed walls. And, it being summer in a A/Cless van, we have the windows down.

The most terrible stench immediately assails us. The dead, rotting animals stink sooooo bad. And we're stuck. We have to go the same direction as this truck. There is no escape.

My mind goes back to what I've been reading in Leviticus. Uncleanness. This stench that enveloped me, is what we smell like to God. Under the old Law, it required the sweet smell of sacrifice to cover up the stench of our sin. Under Jesus' covenant, the purpose of the Law, His sacrifice covers up our stench.

Trying to imagine being in among those rotting carcasses, I was again shocked that Jesus came to earth. He chose to live among dead, rotting stench, because He loved what He had created it to be originally. And He restores us from dead and gone, to alive and here. Amazing.

In His Time,

Not on here

2005-07-24T18:44:00.000-05:00

I have decided not to put my Harry Potter posts here on my regular blog. Instead, I started a second xanga, HarryPotterBreakdown, for all of that to go on. If I get an overwhelming response asking for it on Blogger.com too, I may start up a second blog as well.

This is the link:
http://www.xanga.com/HarryPotterBreakdown

If you have any comments, questions, or critiques of your own, I would appreciate you putting all of those on the HP site.

Thanks for your interest, comments, and prayer support.

In His Time,
~Joel~

Peachy Keen - Literally!

2005-07-24T18:21:00.000-05:00

So, I think peaches are the most amazing, fantastic, wonderful, perfect, flavorburstingfull fruit in the whole wide world.

Now, I'm not talking about those cardboard, store-bought peaches. No, I'm talking about real peaches, the kind you pick off of a tree in an orchard, in southern Indiana. Because that's what we have, courtesy of three of my sisters and my dad.

Saturday morning, while I was working at Delta, they made the hour-an-a-half trip down to Hanover, to a special orchard. I always know when it's time to make the trip, because it's the Saturday directly following the Friday night last performance of Solid Rock.

Yes, the past two years I parted tearfully from my SR friends, and then woke up at five the next morning to pick peaches. This year, while still tearfully missing those excellent SR'ers, I passed the job on to my younger siblings. When I returned from work Saturday afternoon, I was able to reap the benefit of their labor, savoring one luscious peach after another.

They keep telling me that if you eat too many peaches, or too much of any fruit, for that matter, that you will develop a severe case of diarrhea, or a stomach ache. Continuing (as I have for the past 18 years of my life) to belive that this is an old wives tale concocted to protect peach reserves, I have eaten at least twenty in the past two days.

So far, I have been quite healthy. And my chin has been drippin'!

In His Time,

Joeletter 12.3

2005-07-23T17:26:00.000-05:00

Wow, so I was really whiny in my last letter, J 12.2. Sorry about that. More areas to work on trusting God, and taking each thing to Him every time I meet with Him.

How have you been doing meeting with God? Have you been looking for Him in Bible accounts? Have you been spending time with Him in your imagination? Do you look around and try to find Him in the room with you? I don't ask to make you feel guilty, if you are not currently seeking Him in this way. I don't believe that our God is a God of guilt. I only ask to offer ways to seek God. And I look forward to hearing from you how you have been spending time with Him.

I didn't end up being able to go to another Solid Rock concert, for which I was sad. But on Thursday night I had a chance to be with some friends from Prague, CZ. The Valodines were my surrogate family while I was away from home. They are currently here in the States on furlough, visiting churches and friends. On their way from North Carolina to Illinois they stopped by to visit my family and I. It was really nice spend the evening with them.

Work continues unabated. It has still been hot, but if I am able to stay in front of a fan I am fairly comfortable. My last few blog/xanga posts have chronicled "The Fanless Saga." Parts of this past week we were without a fan on my line, Line 253. That made it a little tougher to function, as I recounted.

Today, Saturday, I worked on my usual overtime line, Line 574. This is the hottest line in the plating department, because we work in a small area bounded by walls on two sides, and the huge drying machine on a third. The dryer heat is thus concentrated on us, in addition to the heat and humidity present due to summer.

But they borrowed two extra fans from other lines, bringing the number up to five. This made it possible to almost always work in a stream of moving air. I was quite comfortable, considering. Although I would only prefer to work on 574 for overtime pay!

I recently got into a debate with a friend over the Harry Potter books. Now, I am not particularly a Harry Pothead basher. So far, I've only read the first and third book. After reading the third, a variety of reasons combined made me decide not to read any more of them. I didn't particularly hate them at all, I just decided not to read them.

The one thing that I really didn't like about the Harry Pothead books was that Harry always got away with breaking the rules, and never received the just punishment. It was always a slap on the wrist, if he was punished at all. Or the punishment was just, but extenuating circumstances rendered the punishment impotent/non-applicable.

The subtle rule that continually gets reinforced is that 1) If you don't get caught, what you're doing is not wrong, or 2) The end justifies the means, or 3) If you're special, you're above the law. The law doesn't apply to you, it applies to everyone else. You have a certain destiny which you must follow. Thus, to follow that destiny, it's okay if you bend/break/blatantly smash rules.

Let's go over that again.
1) If you don't get caught, what you're doing is not wrong, or
2) The end justifies the means, or
3) If you're special, you're above the law. The law doesn't apply to you, it applies to everyone else. You have a certain destiny which you must follow. Thus, to follow that destiny, it's okay if you bend/break/blatantly smash rules.

I don't agree with any of the above logic statements. I suspect (hope!) you don't either. My disagreement is not merely a personal thing, I believe it is grounded in what God has said to us. In opposition to what God has said to us, these statements are being subtly, strongly reinforced by the Harry Pothead books.

My friend challenged my limited scope, saying that in only reading two of the now just available six books, I was not looking at the whole picture. I strongly, strongly disagree. I believe that the worldview of an author will always come through in that author's writing, no matter how much or how little is written.

However, I have agreed with my friend that I will read all seven of the books. As I go, I plan to post to my blog/xanga specific instances where Harry Pothead should receive punishment, but doesn't. I may post other things too, but I plan to make that my main post subject.

If you choose to follow this line of postings, I should make a disclaimer. I do plan to be nitpicky. But only as nitpicky as you would be if you were trying to rid yourself of cancer cells in your body.

In His Time,

Two days of fans!

2005-07-22T17:26:00.000-05:00

No, I have not become famous and gone on tour. I'm referring to "The Fanless Saga," days three and four.

Both yesterday and today we've had a fan! It makes it much nicer to work. In addition to having a fan, today brought a big change for me. I doubt that it's permanent, but I did it for today.

Normally, I load faucet parts on racks, and hang the racks up. Someone else takes those racks and puts them on the plating machine. Well, for about four hours today I loaded the plater!

It wasn't too hard, it was just hot. The fan doesn't reach the loading area. The hard part was switching loading hooks.

See, there are a certain number of "spaces" on the plating machine. Each space can hold a loading hook, or it can be left empty. And each loading hook can hold a loaded rack.

Sometimes, when we have a whole bunch of loaded racks ready, we run the plating machine "full on." This means that every space has a loading hook, and thus a loaded rack. But usually we run the plating machine "2 and 1," or "3 and 1." This means two/three spaces with loading hooks, and one space without a loading hook.

When I started loading the plater, we were running "3 and 1." About five minutes after I started loading, we were told to run the machine "2 and 1." Talk about a trial by fire! I had to keep track of how many loading hooks had gone by, and when I should take a hook off, or put one on! The math was intense.

That's my story.

In His Time,

Day Three of the "Fanless Saga"

2005-07-20T19:52:00.000-05:00

So, 281 was running again this morning, and thus they had recovered their fan for their own use. That left us on 253, once again, fanless.
Usually it's a bit cooler in the mornings, and thus more bearable in the factory. This morning, however, started out quite warm. In addition, I felt as though I had not gotten the full benefit of the eight hours I had actually slept.
All this combined to make me feel as though I was working through a blanket, both physically and mentally. The one good thing from being 1/4 asleep was that my time sense was waaay off (you know how you never know how much time has passed while you were dreaming? yeah, that was happening while I was awake), so break came pretty fast. Break at 8:30, during which time I ate, made me feel much better.
Also, 281 broke down again. Thus, we were able to borrow their fan once again. This small addition made the rest of the morning and afternoon livable.

I'm still working on what God is speaking to me through this experience. It may be that He's just teaching me to stop whining, I can take whatever He dishes to me. After all, He does know what I can take, better than I do.

I'm kinda sad this evening, Solid Rock is performing in North Vernon, which is the closest they will be getting to my house, aside from being in Cincy. I, however, still don't have a license due to bureacratic snafus. And since I don't have a ride to take me, I am posting here instead of seeing all my favorite SR'ers again this evening.
God and I did quite a bit of talking about this today. I was still hoping a ride might show up. The conclusion I kept coming back to was, "God, I really do want to be where You are more than where my friends are. If You are going to be at home for me, then that's definitely where I want to be. I just still really miss my SR friends......Yes, I'm looking forward to seeing some of them this fall in college, but I miss them now! I still love you more, though, God."
In His Time,

A borrowed fan

2005-07-19T19:43:00.000-05:00

Today was better. Line 281 wasn't running, so we borrowed their fan. That was a really good thing. Also, it wasn't sooooooo humid. That also was a big help. It got fairly warm right at 11:20, but it wasn't like walking through a blanket, like Monday was.

Also, after reading J 12.2, a person close to me reminded me of George Mueller. This guy decided that, if God was in charge of everything, He would provide for His work. Thus, George decided not to ask people for anything that he needed - e.g. no support raising and such. Instead, George told God what he thought he needed, and left it there.

He had to have tremendous trust, both that God would provide what was needed (and He always did, go figure), AND that what God didn't provide, he wouldn't need.

So, sorry for whining. Just a chance to spend that much more time talking and listening to God.

Also, I knew I had something more exciting to post about than just me. Last Sunday, my fourth sister, Nashana turned ten. That was fun. But even more exciting, she was baptized on Sunday too!!!!!!! I'm so excited for her, and I wanted to share that with you.

In His Time,

Not Fan

2005-07-18T20:40:00.000-05:00

So, today might have qualified for "Worst Day Of Work." It's been raining, as I've written, and that makes it humid. And, we came in this morning to discover that our fan, which provides much needed air-flow, had been stolen.

Now, the fan itself was still in the building. But another line had appropriated it, and put a metal cord on it, in effect bolting it to the wall. So, all eight hours of today, we were without a fan. And the odds don't look good to get a new one. In fact, they flat out said they didn't have the money to get a new fan. Not good.

In His Time,

Joeletter 12.2

2005-07-17T11:16:00.000-05:00

As you have probably guessed, I've been busy. 'Nuff said.

Work has been hot. Now, I realize this probably isn't a shock to you, as I have said the same thing in each of my other Joeletters. The difference between the hot of the past, and the hot of the present, is rain.

Don't get me wrong. We really need the rain. It's been too dry, and all our fields really need the drink. But, that means that more moisture is present in the air. The same moisture that makes Indiana green also makes it humid. Work has been a little more difficult because of the humidity this week, and it's not looking to get any better in the week to come.

I was reminded on this past Monday how fleeting our life is, and how seemingly random it can be. Without God, it'd be pretty depressing.

One of my co-workers, a good friend of mine, didn't show up on Monday morning. Another co-worker asked if I'd heard about her. Of course, I hadn't. She went on to say that Julia* was in surgery that morning, Monday. Apparently, Julia's heart had stopped two or three times on Saturday, incorrectly following instructions from her brain.
*Name changed to protect privacy ~ {I get to write fun stuff like that now!}

She was in surgery last Monday to install a pacemaker. Fortunately the surgery went smoothly, if a little longer than planned. All seems to be fine now, and Julia is at home healing up.

I remained a little shaken, though. I was not prepared to lose contact with Julia like that. She had been planning to work two or three more weeks. Then, all of a sudden, she's gone. I was reminded how little control we have over our "own" lives. As another co-worker mentioned to me, we are about 1/16th of an inch away from disaster every second of our lives. Of course, this is disaster from our perspective, not God's. But it's still disaster to us, nonetheless.

Another co-worker, Sandy*, worked at the same station as me, putting pieces on racks. Along with fun, we had some really wonderful conversations that helped the day move along. Somewhat out of the blue, she gets moved to another area. While close, and I can still see her some, it's definitely different. I have so little control over the people who move in and out of my life.
*You guessed it

It would be depressing. But there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother . . .

This past Friday was wonderful. All last week the Solid Rock program has been at the CCU campus, practicing this year's program. Friday night they held their first performance, in the CCU worship building. A large part of my family went down with me to watch.

Oh, how I miss Solid Rock. I miss all the people, all the fun, all the music. And all the people. They are so loving. If I can finagle a ride, I may be able to see them one more time in concert this week. They have a really nice program this year. On Wednesday they will be in North Vernon, and on Friday their last program will be in Cincinnati. I sure hope I will be able to get down there one more time. Say do any of you want to drive down and take me with you?

I see-saw back and forth on working in a factory for the next 55 years. On some days, the really bad days, I am completely against it. Other days, the good days, I think, "Hm, yeah, I could stand to do this for living if I needed too." We'll see.

Next Monday, right after work, I go in for a physical. Apparently CCU wants to be sure that I won't die in the first semester. Fun fun fun!

In other news, my church is having VBS this week. My eldest sister is attending Church Camp. I'm working. That's about it.

I keep trying to write something, but it keeps not working out, not flowing. I have three different thoughts that I am trying to synthesize, and apparently I am too tired to make that happen. I should take that as a warning for college!

So I will write it later. Speaking of college, I'm getting really excited!!!!! Some of my Solid Rock friends will be attending, and I'm really looking forward to spending an entire year with them.

I looked at cell phones last night. I would like to have one, along with service and lots of free minutes, plus free texting, and a camera and the ability to be used as a modem. Does anybody feel like making that happen for me? Right now, I keep telling God what I want. He's listening, and getting ready to act, in His good time. Just one more way to know Him better - keep talking with Him about cell phones.

Oh, exciting. I just recently started posting to a Xanga as well as to my blog. I post the same things, but if it's more convenient to you to use Xanga, that is now available. An added plus, Xanga offers a free subscription service, so you can be e-mailed whenever I post. And remember, I try to post extra things to my blog and Xanga that aren't in The Joeletter.

So here are those links that should be in your favorites list:
www.Joeletter.blogspot.com
http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=DeepSky8

Enjoy!

In His Time,
~Joel~

"I learned I knew it all along . . ."

2005-07-08T20:53:00.000-05:00

So, this one time, in algebra, I was solving for X. Which, as most of you know, is "the thing" to do in algebra. It's what all the nerds do. And we all want to be nerds.

So, anyway, I was solving for X. I was struggling along, for one reason or another. Then Dad came home for lunch, and I started talking this math problem out loud to him. For some odd reason, talking out loud makes the problem much simpler. Except I never could do it unless there was someone actually there to talk it too.

Back to the subject again. I'm solving for X. All of a sudden, things start clicking. I start eliminating parts of the equation on both sides of the "=" sign. (which is the other "thing to do"). I'm racing along, solving this equation at lightning speed. When, all of a sudden, I pull up short. I look down at my paper, and sigh in disbelief.

I had just conclusively proved that X = X.

A few times since then, I've done something redundant like that. Every time, my mind has flashed back to that moment, doing algebra. "Oh yeah, X equals X."

I had another moment like that this evening. Did you realize that God is real? Like, real, and powerful, and everything? That's so cool!

My next thought is, "What must I do in response to that?" I mean, here we have this real, great, powerful God. What do we have to do simply because of the very fact that He is real?
Yup, the whole point of Deeper. Pursue Him.

Let me veer away for a second, and then segue back into that thought. So hold on to it. I'm currently reading a book entitled "Eragon." I saw it at the Wal-Mart store, for the low low price of $6.47. Having some change burning a hole in my pocket, and having read a little about the story a long time ago, I decided to purchase it.

Oh, and I wanted to try reading a story with Jesus. Like, I'm pretty used to reading stories by myself. But I wanted to try reading this story along with Jesus. Call it a Spiritual Discipline, if you will.

The story is fairly dependable, the characters are pretty well written. This kid gets a dragon egg, hatches a dragon, is on his way to becoming a hero. The usual.

But I've been learning/remembering some great things as I've been discussing this story with Jesus. Like, most everybody wants to be a hero. Most everybody wants to be special. Our fallen self, at least for us guys, wants to be feared and adored. I've been told girls want to be loved, and to special, set apart, sought after.

And as I get caught up in the story, I start wishing all this was happening to me. Being on a great adventure. Being special. Being loved. Having a powerful friend, who I can talk to with just my mind. Not having to be concerned with what might happen in the future, because nothing can harm me. Jesus reminded me that all this is true. Right now. I am on a great adventure. I have no idea where it will end. At this moment I'm in one of those places that only get one or two sentences in the book, but that form my character and discipline my body. It's still just as important as the rest of the sentences.

I am special. So special that another gave up this life, just so that I could begin and continue this adventure. I am loved. And I can look forward to the beautiful girl several chapters away.
And I do have a powerful friend, who I can talk to with just my mind. My friend speaks back, with more wisdom and love than I will ever encompass.

Best of all, I don't have to be concerned with the future. Nothing can harm me. Sure, this tool of a body, much as I like it, can be maimed. At any moment this body, which I call 'I,' could be reduced to a quivering mass of short-circuiting flesh. But my identity is separate from my body. My adventure will continue.

And, to segue back in, I have something that the characters in this book will never have. I am on the side of a real, powerful, great, awesome, mighty, just, merciful, loving, wrathful, righteous, slow-to-anger, thundering God. And He said He's gonna make it all okay.

Beat that, Eragon.

In His Time,

Joeletter 12.1

2005-07-06T17:41:00.000-05:00

This past weekend was wonderful. On Saturday, immedately after work, my Mom and three of my sisters picked me up. Having packed the night before, I hopped into the car and we set out for Chicago.

Beginning Sunday afternoon, this week is the National Bible Bowl tournament. I really enjoyed getting to be up there in Chicago for the weekend, visiting with friends and former teammates. In addition, there was a very nice fireworks show on Sunday night.

Monday being a holiday, I was not required to work. I stayed until Monday afternoon, and then caught a ride home with one of the player's fathers, who also had to work on Tuesday.

So, after an all-to-brief hiatus, here I am again, home. And, actually, home alone. Yes, all the rest of my family is up in Chicago for the week, supporting the team and encouraging my sisters. I have been catching a ride with a co-worker to and from work, which is a real blessing. Except for the fact that I have to wake up twenty minutes earlier . . .

Work at Delta continues to be fine, though warm. It really is a good job. And it takes a lot of time. I am growing less and less interested in donating eight hours a day of my time to the factory, for the next fifty-five years. Unless, of course, it is what I need to do to respond to God. This summer, it is.

So, I realized something this week. I keep forgetting how mighty God is. As my sisters have been quoting to me in preparation for the National Bible Bowl Tournament, they keep quoting Luke 22. Every time, verse 69 jumps out at me. "But from now on, the Son of Man will be seated at the right hand of the mighty God." For three or five weeks I was on a continual Jesus high, after reading the "Can You Hear Me?" book by Brad Jersak. I still highly recommend it to everyone. But, so, I was on this great high. Then, last week, I realized that I didn't 'feel' that fountain of joy bubbling up right in the center of my breastbone anymore. I started wondering why. Always before at work, I had a smile on 'cause of the fountain. Now, I was trying to be smiling as an example of a happy Christian. What was wrong with this picture? I realized that I had slipped back into my old pattern of God. While talking with Him, praying to Him, and acknowledging His presence, I was forgetting about His power. And, actually, I was forgetting about His eternal NowHere, too. I was, in effect, returning to my previous God-in-a-box, without realizing it. That was kinda scary. How easy it is to replace God with my false perception of Him. And, thus, how easy it is for everyone else to do the same thing. It has taught me more compassion for those who knew, or think they know, but don't really seem too. For people who are not allowing themselves to live in Christ's freedom.
It helped me see how subtly we can slip away from our Mighty God. We are the only ones who dare, and are allowed, to pare Aslan's claws in our lives, and even (may it never be) in the lives of others. "Come, Lord Jesus, come. Defend your truth. Remove my bumblings. On earth as it is in heaven. Let it be done."

How about you? What are you hearing from God? I'm not kidding, I would love to hear your stories, if they are not too personal. Apparently, you all thought that I was kidding when I asked you to respond last week. That's the only explanation I have come up with for the total lack of responses.

I have found that it is just as beneficial to write about what God is saying and doing, as it is to hear and experience. This is probably why we are encouraged to journal as a spiritual discipline during our times with God. The act of writing forces us to conceptualize God's messages. We have to think back, and connect His dots. And I almost always learn something new when writing. That is, in fact, one reason I write the Joeletter. It's to journal what God is doing in my life right now. You just get to read over my sholder.

And it seems that God's messages are usually timely for the rest of the body, too. I am always encouraged when I see and hear God's messages to other people.

Remember, this life really isn't about this life at all. It's so easy for me to forget that. But, everything in this life is so transitory. Nothing lasts. Nothing is worth all our work, our devotion. It's all gonna burn. Only people, and the Word, will last. And, of course, our Mighty God.

In His Time,

A factory career

2005-06-28T15:38:00.000-05:00

So, I've heard from many people that they hated their factory experience. And that it helped them work hard in college. And that's fantastic.

But I honestly don't hate working in a factory. Or, at least, I don't hate my current job. Which, right now, is the same thing. It's a whole lot of work, and the heat has been very tough. But, really, the job itself isn't so bad.

Since my first day, I've been asking myself, "Is this something that I could do for the rest of my working life?" The answer I've arrived at is, Yes. I could, if need be, work in a factory for the rest of my life. That said, I would be just as happy not working in a factory for the rest of my life. I have really come to appreciate how much time is spent working. And how much free time students have! I'm really looking forward to college.

I believe that all students should spend some time, at least one summer, working at a job like this. I have really come to appreciate the value of money, and appreciate even more the gifts that people have given me over the years. Experiencing the work that went into that gift makes it even more precious.

Speaking of experiencing, how have you been doing experiencing God lately? Just as I knew about the work that went into earning a living, it is so easy for us to simply know about God. This kind of knowing, however, does nothing. It does not change us, it makes no demands upon us. It's just 'there.'

But when we experience God, through meeting with Him in Listening Prayer, and His constant presence, it's the difference between life and death. Seeking to know Him as real, to experience Him as a true presence in our lives, lays down demands upon us. These demands are the simplest thing in the world ... and the toughest. Without Jesus doing all the work, we are not strong enough. When we submit and obey what He is saying to us in this moment, for this instant, He changes us.

There is total freedom in simply living to know God more intimately. And to know Him more intimately, you have to first experience Him as real. You may have to give up some things to follow Him. In fact, I guarentee you will. At least your pride. Also, your self-esteem. You'll have to give up other people's approval. And I would believe it if you needed to give up some of the 'stuff' you have. Knowing Jesus intimately is pricey. But I assure you, it's sooooo worth the cost. At least, He thought so.

In His Time,

Joeletter 11.3

2005-06-26T15:36:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

My second week of work, finished. My first paycheck, supposedly received (I had them direct deposit it, and I haven't been to the bank yet). I didn't realize that I have a pay stub to pick up at the temp. office, so I will be going to get it tomorrow.

Something that I had not realized was how much time an eight-hour job eats up! You don't spend just eight hours a day working. By the time it's all done and finished, you are spending more like ten hours. First you must get to work, then afterward run errands and get groceries, and then get home. It makes me really appreciate all the free time a full-time student has!

But, all in all, it's still a really good job. I'm having fun, and learning new things.

How has the Listening Prayer been going for you? I would really enjoy hearing from each of you, whether you have found time to try it or not. Something that Jesus has really been impressing on my heart this week has been that Listening Prayer is merely a tool, not the actual "thing you must do to be a real Christian." Listening Prayer is a method to help you experience Jesus actual presence with you. We've all felt like, "I just wish I could see, or feel Him here with me." Using your imagination this way, you can.

So how 'bout it? Close your eyes, and ask Jesus to help you hear His words that He is speaking to you right now.

Ask Him what about you makes Him smile? In what ways was He pleased with you today?

What things made Him sad today? Things that you did, or didn't do? Things that you saw happen today?

What things has He been doing today? Where has He been working? Where does He want you to work alongside of Him?

Remember, we do hear Him. We have just learned how to be deaf. We have learned how to reject His words with our logic. Wherever He takes your mind, to whatever part of today, look for where He was and what He was working there. What He says will always correspond with He has already said, and what He has said/is saying to others. If you're not sure, just ask! He'll always tell you.

The book that I read that sets this all out can be found at this link,

http://www.freshwindpress.com/

and is entitled "Can You Hear Me?" by Brad Jersak. If you haven't had a chance to look at the site, and/or order the book, I would highly recommend it. Any price is worth the freedom and joy in Christ. If nothing else, His example on the cross proves that. If you want to get the book, but can't afford it right now, talk to me. We'll work something out.

I am reading another book right now that has been really resonating with me, with what I've been learning and growing in. It is called "The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery," by David G. Benner. Here is a link to one of the sites that offers this slim, paperback book for under 10 dollars. You can also just search 'David G. Benner.'

David G. Benner Books - BestPrices.com's David G. Benner Book Catalog

One of the things that David writes about echoes another use of Listening Prayer that Brad Jersak describes. Just as you can look around and find Jesus with you wherever you are in the day, you can enter Biblical accounts and do the same. Pick out your favorite Bible story, find it again in the Bible, and read through it a few times.

Then sit back, preferably in a quiet place where you won't be disturbed and won't go to sleep. Use your imagination and enter the story. Look around, and find Jesus. Don't worry, He'll always be there. Even in the Old Testament He will be present. His plan to reconcile us to Himself was a first-run idea. It started on the first page of the Bible, and goes to the last. More than that, He's on every page in between. It might be a little tougher to find Him sometimes, but He's always there.

Just daydream on that story. You are a spectator, watching the events unfold before you. And, as the story progresses, focus on Jesus. Watch what He does, what He says. Watch His face. David G. Benner acknowledges that he has difficulty imagining much more than the details provided by the Bible. But he says,

"... after I get past my frustration and sense of failure, I realize that simply pondering the event - allowing myself to daydream on it - is sharing Jesus' experiences with him. I am, in fact, slowly moving into a new level of personal knowing of Jesus."

And only in sharing experiences do we build a friendship, a relationship. While going to church contributes to our walk, and springs out of our walk, it does not by itself build up our friendship with Jesus. The same goes for merely reading the Bible, not experiencing it with Him. These things are a fruit of our relationship with Him, not what cause that relationship. Spending time will always lead you right back into the Bible, and back to setting aside time with His people, His church. He will never lead us away from Himself, whether in His body or what He has already revealed.

I would really enjoy hearing from each of you, and things that are a part of your life right now. Your experiences with listening prayer, and whatever else is drawing you to Jesus right now.

Those site links again are:

"Can You Hear Me?" by Brad Jersak
http://www.freshwindpress.com/

"The Gift of Being Yourself" by David G. Benner
David G. Benner Books - BestPrices.com's David G. Benner Book Catalog

Both books are terrific, and have been a tremendous blessing in helping me know Jesus more intimately. I highly recommend them both.

Also, for those of you who haven't heard, I am planning on going to Cincinnati Christian University in the fall. I am signed up for a Bachelor of Arts, with a program in Youth Ministry. That may change, but for the moment that's what I'm signed up for.

Experience life with Him ~ There's no going back

In His Time,

Joeletter 11.2

2005-06-18T22:03:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

For all of you who haven't heard, or haven't checked my blog (tsk tsk - http://www.joeletter.blogspot.com/), I am now a working man.

Contrary to what I wrote last time, a first shift job did present itself at Delta Faucet, and I started last Tuesday at 6:15 a.m. It astonishes me every morning that the sun is up before me, when I wake up at 5:20. Still, I'm glad that it is. If the sun weren't up, I don't think I would be able to drag myself out of bed to eat breakfast and make the twenty-five minute drive to the factory.

So far, my job experience has developed in two completely separate areas. The place where I am assigned, Plating, is a lot of fun. We take faucet parts out of boxes, and put them on metal racks. Then, the racks are put on a a machine that dips them into a nickel solution. Electrolysis plates nickel onto the faucet pieces.

The place where I've worked three of the past five working days is totally different. (And, yes, I started on Tuesday, but I worked today, Saturday, as well. That makes five). I'm not entirely sure what this place is called. It might be Polishing, or Coating, or Finishing. Whatever the name, I have been busy putting pieces into large rock-polishing machines, and taking the same pieces out a few minutes to several minutes later. While slightly more repetitive, this job is also fun.

Now, the fun involved in these jobs does not come from the jobs themselves. I would like to share with you something that has totally revolutionized my personal relationship with Jesus. This thing makes all factory jobs fun, sets you free from what other people think about you, and turns on a huge, never-ceasing fountain of joy right in the middle of your chest.

It's called Listening Prayer. Now, that's just a name, a convenient way to handle this 'thing,' this concept. I don't really care what you call it, if it is bringing you to know Jesus better.

I first learned about Listening Prayer from a book called "The Practice of the Presence of God," by Brother Lawrence. Now, Listening Prayer is not mentioned throughout the entire book. What Brother Lawrence did was try to practice God's presence at all times. When I first read this book while in Deeper, I did not understand how exactly that worked.

What flipped the switch for me was a newer book entitled "Can You Hear Me?" by Brad Jersak. The book is available from Fresh Wind Press - http://www.freshwindpress.com/. The premise is that God/Jesus/the Holy Spirit is always speaking to us. Not always audibly, but always spiritually. Furthermore, that we do hear Him as He speaks to us.

To us, it makes sense that the more we grow toward God, the more He will speak to us. But, how then can we grow close to Him in the first place, if only at a certain 'level' does He begin to speak to us? And, what is this level? When have you attained it? In God's outrageous grace, He speaks to us all the time, just as he causes the rain to fall on the evil and the good.

To listen to Him, we must first believe that He is speaking, and that we can hear Him. This can seem a little scary, opening ourselves up to listening to someone outside ourselves, especially to One in the spiritual world. But, as Brad writes in his book, remember Jesus. He is strong, He is loving, and He is good. His voice is unlike any other. And His message is always consistent with all that He has already said.

Picture it this way, with an illustration from "Can You Hear Me?" You and a close friend are camping outside in a tent. It is pitch black, and you can't even see your hand in front of your face. You and your buddy are talking together. Outside the tent, however, are several of your enemies. They keep trying to sound like your friend, and cut in on the conversation. They keep lying to you.

Now think about it. Your friend is right there. He can hear all this. He loves you. He won't let these lies and impostors deceive you! Every time, He will tell you if it was Him or not. All you have to do is ask!

That is some background for listening prayer, but not the listening itself. Listening to Jesus involves the imagination. I realize that raises several red flags, again. We have been taught from childhood to live in the real world, not our imaginations. The imagination is where we make things up, not a place where anything serious happens.

I'm not sure that what we have been taught is entirely true. While it is true that we make things up with our imagination, I don't believe that our imagination is to blame. The imagination is, so to speak, a projection screen. You might think of the large, drop-down screens being installed in many of our churches today. The imagination is where we can 'see' things happening. But the 'screen' doesn't determine what is played upon it. The projector does.

If we ourselves act as the projector, then the screen of the imagination is only going to show what we decide. This, then, is where the limitations on imagination come from. We record our own movies, and then watch them play out in our imagination. But what if Jesus is the projector? Would not our perfect Savior show us only what is good, and true, and noble, and right?

This, then, is the core of listening prayer. Using our imaginations to meet with Jesus, the person. Using our imaginations to realize our relationship with Him.

For some, it's easier to first try with eyes closed, while others find it easier to listen in prayer with eyes open. Look and see what Jesus is wearing. For me, He is usually wearing the white robe and blue sash shown in Standard Publishing's depictions of Jesus. And that's fine. For you, He may be wearing jeans and a t-shirt. That also is fine. The point is spending time with Him, not his outfit.

Next, look up at His face. What expression is He wearing as He looks at you? Along with whatever other expression, you know that there will be love. He will never tell you something opposed to His word, because He does not change. He will never make you feel bad, or ashamed. If you're not sure it's really Him, just ask! He, our strong Lord, will always be right by your side, answering you.

Open your eyes, and look around. Where is Jesus? Is He sitting in one of the chairs by the table? Is he up on a tree branch? Is He right beside you? Practice finding Him wherever you are. He has promised never to leave. We just have to realize that.

At this point, you might be concerned that you're just making all this up in your head. To a point, you are. Remember, Jesus is working with your imagination. But the question to ask is not, "Am I just making this up?" That introduces doubt. Doubt in God is one of the primary weapons of Satan. Eve was tempted to doubt that God had her best interests in mind. James tells us that he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think that he will receive anything he asks for in prayer.

So don't doubt. The question is not, "Is this just my imagination?" Rather, the question should be, "Is this true? Is this You, Jesus?" Whether it is your imagination or not doesn't really matter. All that matters in life is what is true; what is Jesus. The one way to know what is true, and what is truly Him, is to know what He is like. Only through reading and knowing the Bible will you be able to hear Jesus clearly.

Listening prayer doesn't lead you away from the Bible and into your own little world. Rather, listening prayer (like all parts of the pursuit of Jesus) loops right back into His Word. What He says will always be consistent, both with the Bible, and with the messages that other people are hearing from Him.

There is a whole lot more that I will write about in the following Joeletters. But, for now, look around. Where is Jesus? What is He saying to me? How do I need to respond?

This is the thing makes all factory jobs fun, that sets you free from what other people think about you, and that turns on a huge fountain of joy right in the middle of your chest. It's hearing and seeing Jesus in a relationship. "And the things of earth / will grow strangely dim / in the light of His glory and grace."

If you have any questions before the next Joeletter, just let me know. I would highly recommend obtaining a copy of Brad Jersak's book, "Can You Hear Me?" for yourself and to share. I have not yet found a Christian bookstore that sells it, but the website is http://www.freshwindpress.com/. They also sell a children's story/picturebook version, appropriately entitled, "Children, can you hear me?" This beautifully illustrated book captures the heart and the message of listening to Jesus, our best friend. It's never to early, or too late, to start listening to Jesus. It might even be easier to understand than the adult version!

I have thought some more about writing of all that happened in Taize and afterward. Unless one of you really, really wants to know, I'm just not gonna write about it. It's over, done, and gone, and I'm living in the now.

In His Time,

Change in Schedule

2005-06-14T20:16:00.000-05:00

So, I went in yesterday to the temp. office to pick up the piece of paper I would need to give to the guard at the factory where I was to work. And, yes, it was every bit as involved as that sentence.

I showed up at the office, explained it all, and found that they could move me to a first-shift job which would start today, Tuesday. Well, that was what I was hoping for, really, because that means that I could probably see the Solid Rock concert and friends when they perform later this summer. Plus, that helps me to wake up at a regular hour each morning, and get into that good habit. College will probably change that, but at least I'm trying.

So, the gist of all this, is that today I woke up at 5:30 a.m., stumbled out of bed, and saw that the sun was shining. I ate breakfast, hurried to work, and entered the work force!

My shift runs from 6:15 to 14:15 (that's 2:15 p.m., for all you non-European people). I am in Plating. It's the part of the production process that takes the metal faucet fittings and change their color. Today, at least, we were changing the fittings from a copper/bronze color to a pretty silver.

This is accomplished through electrolysis. For all of you who are out of high school and can't remember what exactly that means, it's a process of running electric current through metal (in this case the fittings) that forces nickel molecules in a nickel-solution to bond to the metal in a nice, smooth finish.

My job today was to take the faucet pieces from their boxes and fasten them onto racks. These special racks were hung on the plating machine. The machine dipped the racks and the fittings into the nickel solution. It is kind of a repetitive job, in that I did it for eight hours. But there were enough different kinds of pieces and different kinds of racks that I never became bored.

We get a break from 8:30 to 8:40, and then lunch from 11:00 to 11:20. Today we also had a fire drill/alarm. I never did hear if it was just a drill, or if it was an actual alarm. Either way, we got to go outside for about five minutes and stand in the fresh, cool air. It got warm in there. Fortunately it was a fairly dry heat, so the sweat didn't ever become too unbearable. But I drank a whole lot of water.

Okay, I've gotta get to bed. This working man has to be back at it tomorrow morning. Later.

In His Time,

College Kid

2005-06-13T12:28:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, when I was posting, I thought I had something more exciting to write about than just starting work today. This morning, I remembered it.

Friday, the 10th, I registered to become a College Kid! Woohoo! I am now registered for classes. And even more importantly, I have a student ID card with my picture on it.

Yes, I'm getting excited. I'm looking forward to this new experience, and seeing friends from Solid Rock. My roommate, in fact, if all goes well, will be a guy that I met on Solid Rock 2004. We ran together in the mornings on campus.

Also, I got to visit the Kentucky Christian University Bible Bowl Tournament Friday night and Saturday! It was really, really nice to be there, and see all my friends without having to worry about studying, or playing the games. I enjoyed that a whole lot.

I did watch several games. I know, I've said before that Bible Bowl is one of the most boring things to watch, probably rating right above fishing. And, I still stand by that, somewhat. But it was a little more fun watching this year, probably 'cause I don't know the text, so the entire game is a surprise, watching people buzz in and answer.

I really enjoyed spending time catching up with friends that I had played with and against. I even made some new friends! Bible Bowl people, as a general rule, are a pretty nice crowd.

All right, I just wanted to let all the rest of you know what I did over the weekend. Peace Out!

In His Time,

"You're in the factory now..."

2005-06-12T16:30:00.000-05:00

If all goes as planned, I will be starting work tomorrow. Delta Faucet, 2nd shift, 4-12 p.m. No life, moderate amount of money. They keep telling me this will help me want to go to college. But, I already want to go to college! That line doesn't seem to be a get out of jail free pass, at least around here ;-)

In His Time,

Wow, I really am different

2005-06-08T20:17:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, I did something I never, never in my wildest dreams, thought I would ever do. I bought a pair of sandals.

Yes, I know that doesn't sound very earthshattering. But, you have to understand, I have been against sandals for a very long time.

I just don't feel like they provide very much safety for my feet. I always feel like they are going to fall off any second. And you can forget about trying to run in them!

But I have really come to appreciate dry feet during my time in Prague. Not that I had wet feet before, mind you, but you know how feet naturally sweat when encased in shoes. The custom in Europe, as in much of the rest of the world, it would seem, is to take off your shoes when entering a person's home. This includes your own home. Thus, much of the time your shoes are off your feet.

When I returned home, I realized how much I missed leaving my shoes off . So, I began taking them off. Real simple, I know. Then I moved to sockless. While in Wal-mart, I passed a rack of sale sandals. The rest is history.

Now, I am still against flip-flops. They still hold all of the negatives that I dislike about sandals. But these sandals that I bought have three straps, holding my foot fairly secure, but allowing it to breath.

Thank you, Tina and Lisa, for your efforts during Deeper to reconcile my feet with flip-flops. I now report to you that you have somewhat triumphed.

In His Time,

Joeletter 11.1

2005-06-07T21:19:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

Another month, another letter. Well, now that I'm home I hope to write more often again.

Yes, I, Joel Jackson, am home. After nine wonderful months of Deeper, and two 'most excellent' weeks of vacation with my family, I am back for the summer in good old Indiana. Funny, it's still pretty much the same as when I left it. It's me that different.

One difference is how much more I love my country. I still dislike American tourists, but I definitely love my country even more than I did before both Deeper and this vacation. Let me explain why:

We started out the trip by flying from Indianapolis to Boston. This was the first time for some of my siblings to fly, or at least be old enough to appreciate it. It was neat to fly with them.

We rented two 7-passenger vans there in Boston, and drove up to Maine. It was wet, rainy, and cold, but walking along the coast was still an amazing and wonderful experience. We got to see the real New England ocean, stormy and raw. Looking at the rocky coastline, it made us appreciate how difficult it would have been for the Pilgrims to land, farther down the coast at Plymouth. Here at this hotel we enjoyed the indoor pool and Roman Spa.

The next day we drove back down to Boston to see several sights. My favorite was the USS Constitution, the oldest warship afloat still under commission. This ship, nicknamed "Old Ironsides," never lost an engagement.

We also stopped by a visitor's center that had a 270 degree ( not 360) movie about the Battle of Bunker Hill (Breed's Hill), as well as some displays. We drove by the Old North Church (one if by land...). And we parked on the Lexington Green, where the shot heard round the world was fired. Did you know that the Patriots and the British soldiers began the war with the same type of musket? The Americans had been equipped by the British previous to the Revolution, and thus had very similar equipment.

The next day, having picked up our relatives from Kansas, who flew into Boston, we toured the area around Plymouth Rock. The Mayflower 2 was anchored in the bay, modeled as close to the original Mayflower as possible. Just 50 yards from the Mayflower 2 lies Plymouth Rock, the rock the Pilgrims were said to have landed at. Plymouth Plantation, a recreation of the original settlement, was a fantastic place to visit. People in the character of 1627 residents spoke with us about their lives and histories. Detailed research allowed them to role-play these characters down to accent, personal history from before crossing the ocean to America, and current occupation.

In Philadelphia we visited Matt and Melissa Johnson and their children Miles and Nina. The Johnsons are a loved part of our church family. God called them to serve in the Levittown, Pennsylvania Church of Christ.

While in Philly, we also saw the Liberty Bell, and a lights and music show entitled "Lights of Liberty." It was in this show that I understood how uncertain our future really was, back when we were revolting from British control. There was a lot of uncertainty.

I got to see the room where they wrote and signed both the Declaration of Independence and the Constitution of the United States of America. Later, in D.C. I got to see both of these original documents. It was pretty cool to have stood where they started out.

Speaking of D.C., that's where we drove to next. We saw the Washington, Lincoln, and Jefferson Memorials, the Vietnam memorial, and the new W.W.II memorial. The Capitol, the outside of the White House, the Smithsonian National Air and Space Museum, the Library of Congress, the National Archives, and quite a few metal detectors. It was an amazing trip.

Btw, if you ever go to the Library of Congress, don't take your shoes off. Well, let me back up. Don't wear steel-toed boots on a trip where you know you will be encountering the heaviest security precautions in our country. Don't be an idiot.

See, the airports don't mind if you send your shoes through the metal detectors. You just pop your shoes off, set them on the machine, and walk through the metal detector. No sweat. But not in the Library of Congress! No Sir! You can't even explain that you have metal in your shoes, and you know that they will set off the detector, and you just want to send them through the x-ray machine, and save everyone a whole lot of time. No, you have to be wanded. Every time. Every. Time. The worst part is that they don't have a standardized procedure for wanding you. So I never knew if they wanted my to put my Mt. Pleasant sweatshirt and jacket through the machine, or leave them on my person, or hand them to someone to feel through to make sure I wasn't smuggling a pair of nail clippers into the building.

Don't wear steel-toed boots to Washington D.C.

In His Time,

So I'm home...

2005-06-06T18:55:00.000-05:00

I have been trying desperetely to finish Joeletter 11.1, and let that be the first thing I post on my blog. In it I am writing about the highlights from our (my family's vacation). But with my sisters needing the computer to practice Bible Bowl, me cleaning my room, me playing with Jathan, and trying to nail down a job, I haven't had enough time to finish it.

So, I am actually home now. As you will read about soon, the trip was fantastic.

I will update you on the job search. I went in to the temp. office again today, and finished all the paperwork and orientation. They are currently waiting to see if a 1st-shift job becomes available. If nothing shows up by Friday, (and I really don't expect anything too), then I will call and switch to 2nd shift, which I believe they have available. So, I hope to be starting work next Monday, 2:oo p.m.

"Where at?" you say? Yes, I just realized that I neglected to specify where they hope to place me. Delta Faucet, one of the factories here in the area.

Yes, I am also trying to coordinate haying, and mowing grass. I keep worrying about how that will all work out, 'cause I don't want to not be available for any of these places after asking if I could work for these guys. (Yeah, that was a run-on sentence).

I'm on a simplicity kick after coming back from Prague. Hence, the room cleaning. See, I used to be a major packrat. I would save anything that I might be able to use in the future, including things that held some sort of sentimental value, or that I couldn't bear to let anyone else have. So, my room is crammed with junk. Absolutely crammed.

But with lots of work parts of my room are being reclaimed. It's really pretty exciting to see the how much more space will be available when I'm done. This same simplicity kick is really helping me pack for trips. My suitcase was one of the smallest on our vacation. (The downside to that is that someone else carries my suitcase, while I get two of the biggest ones. Oh well, I've been workin' out).

In His Time,

Joeletter 10.1

2005-05-20T22:47:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

I realize that it's been quite a while since I last wrote a Joeletter. This is partly due to my schedule over the past month, and partly due to my own laziness. To be honest, I haven't felt like writing since after Taize. In addition, I felt like I needed to "be" there in Prague while finishing up our time there. Then, this past week we've been at our Indiana base site, debriefing. I wanted to spend my time there, being there. So I didn't take any time to write. I'm sorry for any inconvenience.

Now, here I am. I am home, after nine/ten months of Deeper. As the next couple months progress I plan to write more about what all has happened this past month since my last Joeletter. But I will share some of the things that I did in this letter.

The first place that we went to following the last Joeletter was Taize, in France. It's been a while since I wrote about Taize, so let me refresh your memory. Taize is an ecumenical prayer community located in the charming countryside region of Burgundy.

We drove from Prague to Taize, one long drive beginning at 3:oo a.m. We drove to Germany and got onto the Autobahn. Let me tell you about the Autobahn. It's insane. But, like all things German, it's not just any crazy mess of insanity. It is most definitely a well ordered insanity.

You may have heard of the German autobahn, and how there are no speed limits. And you may, like me, have pictured this nice, four lane, divided, interstate-like roadway. Nope. In most places the German autobahn looks like a divided highway. Both sides of the highway have two lanes, but most of it still looks like a highway.

We got onto the autobahn, and we are doing about 75 mph. I must specify mph, because over there everything is in kilometers, including the speedometers. So we were doing 120 kph. Most of the other vehicles were going just a little bit faster than us, I'd guess doing 135 to 145 kph. But every so often, some car would come screaming past us. Every time it happened I would almost get goosebumps. They had to be going at least twice as fast as us - and it was legal!

While on the way to Taize, we passed a large number of cars parked on both sides of the Autobahn, on dirt Frontage roads. After maybe a minute of passing all these vehicles parked on both sides of the autobahn, we started wondering what the crowd was gathering for, especially in the drizzle that was coming down. Then we saw the outside of the track, and realized that these people were attending Europe's answer to Brickyard racing - Formula 1.

The rest of the day went well, except for the rain that continued coming down. By the time we arrived in France and were close to Taize, a large number of the fields were flooded. Several roads were impassible, and a bridge was out. This forced us to follow a detour and make a couple of educated guesses as to how to get to Taize. At one point the question was asked, "With all this raining/flooding, what if they close Taize for the week?!"

Fortunately, Taize was open, and we did make it. Ben and I attended the "Welcome" for people under thirty, and Jeff attended the Welcome for all those over thirty. It was at this welcome that we received sleeping assignments and work assignments. At it was at this Welcome that I received the best job on the Taize campus. This job, difficult as it may sound, was preparing lunch for from 300 to 2000 people.

But it was the best! We had a wonderful team leader, a Swedish girl named Erika. She, along with several other guys and gals, was a "permanent." This meant that they were there at Taize for an extended period of time, rather than the week that most people came for.

I say that my job was the best because of what all we didn't have to do. We didn't have to wash dishes. We didn't have to work every minute that we were there. In fact, we would arrive, prepare all the serving boxes, and then have 30 -45 minutes for tea and cookies. I enjoyed spending time with my fellow workers. Christian, Philip, Michael, Annika, and Danielle were their names, all from Germany. Fortunately for me, everyone in the group spoke English, at least to some extent. I must confess, spending that week at Taize made me feel quite dumb. Everyone spoke at least two languages, several three or four. Me, I limped through high school with Spanish, which I'm definitely not fluent in. And spending three months in Prague didn't help my Spanish retention at all! I would try to speak one or the other, in my limited way, and always come up with the word in the other language. Very frustrating.

But enough people spoke English, and could translate for me, that it worked out okay. Here is a like for the pictures that I personally took or had taken while at Taize. Ben and Jeff took many, many more, but I didn't have access to them to put them on the website.

http://photobucket.com/albums/y84/DeepSky8/Taize/?start=20

I'm feeling a bit tired now, so I think I will go to bed. Tomorrow I have to get up at 6:00 to go with my sisters to a Bible Bowl tournament, the Indy Round Robin. I'm looking forward to seeing all my Bible Bowl friends again, and seeing my sisters play. So, good night.

Oh, yes...

Next Monday, the 23rd, my family will be taking a vacation. So, I won't be writing for a couple of weeks, unless I get Internet access. And I don't expect that.

But you ask what we will be doing. We will fly from Indianapolis to Boston, drive up to Maine for a day, and then work our way down the coast to Washington D.C., and see our capitol. Then, we will fly back from D.C. to Indy, getting home on June 4. I must say, after Deeper I'm really looking forward to getting back into a plane and a van, even if only for the two weeks that we will be gone! But it will be really nice to be with my family, and to see all the sights.

Thank you all for your interest in my year at Deeper. I have enjoyed hearing back from you, and I'm glad you have (seemingly, at least) enjoyed reading about what all has happened. Like I said at the beginning of 10.1, I am planning to continue writing The Joeletter, and continue to write about what all happened in this past month. At the same time, I realize that now that Deeper is done you may wish to be removed from the Joeletter mailing list. Unlike the list reformatting this past Christmas, I am not going to actively drop anyone from the list. If you would like to be removed simply send me an e-mail from the address you wish removed, and I'll do it. Thanks.

In His Time,

Name Game

2005-05-16T17:22:00.000-05:00

I stumbled across this site, and found out that my name means "God is Willing." I'm sure I knew that at some point, and had been told that by my parents. But, I had forgotten it. It was kinda neat to hear that again today - God is Willing.

I also found that in the past 100 years, the 80's had the highest number of Joel's. Joel was actually the 69th most popular name of my birth decade. Neat.

Here's what the site says about itself:

"Find out how popular your first name has been over the past 100 years, just click below and enter your first name."

http://www.birthdayalarm.com/name

Enjoy!

In His Time,

Back Home

2005-05-13T17:26:00.000-05:00

Wow. I'm back home, here in the States. It has taken a little getting used to. Everyone around me speaks English! I actually hesitated about going into Wal-Mart for that very reason. And when strangers around me spoke, I would turn my head toward them. It just seemed like they were talking to me, since they spoke in English!

I slept for twelve hours last night, and that has been a good start to getting over jet lag. Right now, at 5:30, I'm quite tired again. At home in the Czech it would be tomorrow, 12:30 a.m. Time changes are still quite difficult for me to completely comprehend.

Speaking of time changes, I just heard that the Indiana State government voted to adopt Daylight Savings Time. I was quite upset when I heard that. Now I , along with the rest of the country, will have to deal with the foolishness of changing my clock twice a year, and adjusting my sleeping pattern accordingly. Why couldn't they leave well enough alone!? I was quite happy when the rest of the country changed to our time zone, and we didn't have to worry about it. grrr.

Anyway, it was very good to get back and see my family. They came to the airport to greet me! It was great to give them all hugs, and hear little bits of what all has been happening in their lives.

All right, I'm tired.

In His Time,

Going Home

2005-05-10T10:41:00.000-05:00

Hi all,

Yes, I realize that I haven't posted anything meaningful since before going to Taize. I will, but not yet. We have been very busy, and it's only going to get worse.

This is because we will be flying home on Thursday. I am sad to leave here, and to leave this season of my life, but I am glad to see my family again. I'm starting to miss them.

In His Time,

Salzburg Salt Mine Slide!

2005-05-10T10:29:00.000-05:00

Bumper Sticker of the Day

2005-04-25T06:35:00.000-05:00

When I pasted this link in, I didn't realize that it changes what it says each week. So, I have no idea what it says right now. But it's usually kinda funny.

BumperSticker
of the Day

Courtesy
of BumperTalk.com

Divoka Sarka

2005-04-15T07:14:00.000-05:00

As I have mentioned before, there are small parks sprinkled throughout Praha. It's very nice to be able to walk just a few blocks to find grass and trees.

But around the outside of Praha there are a few larger parks. Nice places filled with trees, paths, benches, and sunshine. Yesterday afternoon I visited the largest one, called Divoka Sarka.

Divoka Sarka, in Czech, means "Crazy Sarka." The S in Sarka has a small mark above it called a hatchek. This small mark means that the S sounds like "Sh." According to the story, a woman named Sarka ran off a cliff there. Thus, crazy Sarka.

But when I visited yesterday, I saw no good reason for anyone to run off a cliff. The sun was shining brightly on the first broad expanse of grass. It reflected back as a brilliant green. I walked down, and then up again. On one rock I found five of the largest snails I have ever seen. Their shells were at least 1 and 1/4 in. across. At the top of this second cliff craggy rocks poked their way through the lush grasses and small trees.

I found a nice place to sit on one of the sides, and contemplated the valley before me. Most of the trees were of the evergreen or pine variety. That is something that it a bit different from America to here. Most of these trees are not deciduous, but pine.

The sun was shining in my face, telling me I was looking west. Below, large swaths of grass ran between the forest. To my right, off quite a ways, some people were clambering over the rocks. They looked like mere dots of color from where I was.

Behind me lay the city, with all its noise and bustle. Seeing it, my heart was filled with love and compassion for this great city which I am living in for now. Before me lay the forest and the clearings. And both were beautiful, though each in a different way.

There, on the grassy cliffside, I napped.

Returning from my mountaintop experience, I crossed a crick running through Divoka Sarka. Just as I reached it I caught the scent of fresh streams, the cooler breath of refreshing air. I paused to enjoy it, filling my lungs with sweet stream oxygen.

Yeah, I really like Divoka Sarka. I think I'm gonna go back today.

In His Time,

Joeletter 9.1

2005-04-11T07:36:00.000-05:00

There are two things that keep me from writing Joeletters. One is being too busy. Not having a computer at our flat, Ben and I must work out times to be on other people's computers. With all the other things that are going on here in Praha that can be difficult.

The other thing that keeps me from consistently writing Joeletters is not having anything to write about. It seems like we are either ridiculously busy, or not doing much of anything. It's quite silly.

Tonight, Monday night, Ben, Jeff, and I will attend the Ski Trip Reunion. All the people who went on the trip to Austria to ski in the Alps are getting back together. We'll see how everyone's doing now, and each get a CD with all the pictures that we took on the trip. That will be very nice. I'm looking forward to having everyone's pictures of the Alps, and of the participants.

This Saturday Jeff, Ben, Steve Cone, and myself, will drive to Taize, France. Located in the south of Burgundy, the community began in 1940. In 1949 a monastery was established out of that initial community. Today, pilgrims from all over the world flock to Taize (pronounced with the first e as in the name Ed, and the second e like a long "a". Phonetically, it's Tezaaa). It promises to be a wonderful week of introspection and discovery. These websites explain about the origin and current function of Taize.

http://www.taize.fr/en_rubrique8.html - The Community

http://www.taize.fr/en_article166.html - Beginning to Today

Part of the experience is sharing in the work. We will each be assigned jobs helping to serve all the visitors at Taize, of whom we are a part. We will also be put into discussion groups to talk over things that we've heard, been taught, or just thought about each day. I'm looking forward to the week. I've heard wonderful things from all the people who have already spent time there.

Jeff has rented a car to make the trip in, as it would be much too expensive to get to Taize otherwise. Even in a car, it will be a little expensive getting there and back again. Gas here is over five dollars a gallon. It makes the high prices back in the states seem cheap in comparison. Now, I'm not sure if I've talked about this, but we there is a big difference between American cars and European cars. American cars are HUGE! It's so funny to see cars from America over here, because they are so much bigger than what I've grown used to. Over here cars are much smaller, which helps when finding parking places in the city. Also, smaller cars equal less gas consumption.

But, here's the kicker, there will be four of us in this small Czech car. Now, four people in an American car is no problem. Even four large people. But in a Czech car there is much less space. And all four of us have spent some time in the gym here in Praha. I'm definitely the smallest one of the group. And we will be driving for a very long time. If you refer to a map, the Czech Republic and France aren't exactly next door neighbors. Yeehaw.

On the way back from Taize we will stop in Munich, Germany. We plan to spend the night at a friend's flat. Then Jeff, Steve, and Ben will return to Prague, and I will stay in Munich for a week. It's a chance to spend some time with Sandy Graham, a wonderful woman of God. One of the reasons we traveled up to Munich about a month ago was to see here. She came down to see us over Easter weekend and participated in our Easter Prayer Vigil.

But I didn't get a chance to spend much time with her either visit. Since that didn't happen she invited me up to Munich. So, immediately after Taize I will spend a week in Munich, then ride the train home. I'm looking forward to talking and praying with her.

Our time here draws swiftly to a close. I am both glad and sad. I am going to miss the time spent here, and the people that I have met. At the same time, I do miss my family. It will be good to be with them again.

It may sound a little funny to be talking like this right now, since we have about a month left before we have to leave. But with all that will be happening, I know that it's going to fly by very fast.

Well, that's all that I can think of to write to you about. I know I'll have quite a lot to write about after Taize and Munich, so take this Joeletter as the calm before the storm - sol.

In His Time,

Create A Trend - Sol

2005-04-08T10:46:00.000-05:00

I am writing today to offer you a once-in-a-lifetime chance. You are being invited to join a trend at the ground level. You, yes you, are being offered the chance to become a trendsetter.

"What does it take?" you ask. "Will it involve any financial expenditure? Because if it does, I'm out of here."

Never fear, this is a no-risk, non-profit trend. Continue reading for full details.

I, Joel Jackson, have invented a new acronym for cyberworld use. It is "sol." That's right, sol. It stands for Smile Out Loud. I became rather tired of seeing "lol" all the time, especially when something was kind of funny, but not funny enough to really Laugh Out Loud about. Thus, I coined the term Sol, or sol in it's uncapitalized version.

This blog post is your official invitation to join a cutting-edge trend. If each of us make an effort to use sol as much as applicably possible when writing e-mails and instant messaging, and invite our friends to do the same, the cyberworld will take notice. Already I receive instant messages and e-mails from my friends that include this hip new phrase. You are invited to do the same.

For those of you who are interested, there are a couple other cyberslang acronyms that are also starting to catch on. These are syk - Slap Your Knee; and gol - Grin Out Loud. Yes, gol is merely a variant of sol. But it's kinda catchy, and has a LOTR ring to it - it reminds me of Gollum every time I see it.

Thank you for your time, and remember to always SOL!

In His Time,

the Church, the Body, & Worship

2005-04-08T09:11:00.000-05:00

While I was in Munich, Germany, a few of the Christian men I had met invited me to come to Starbucks. I gladly agreed; these are some wonderful men who I am blessed to be seeking Christ alongside of.

We sat there sipping our respective drinks, and of course began talking about different things. Our conversation at last settled on The Church. More specifically, what form should The Church take? There is the MegaChurch form, the ReallyBigChurch form, the Regular-to-Small Church form, the Tiny Church form, the House Church form, the informal-meeting-together form. This is just to name a few.

But the question, I suppose, really took the form of, "What should a church, meeting together, look like." Is it better to have a huge congregation, or a small group of friends and acquaintances who are all seeking God? Or is something in between best? We wrestled with this question for quite a while, exploring several different avenues. The answer we eventually came up with is, "There is no one best way to meet together as a body." There are many different ways, as we see all around us, and each way is equally valid. This is because our relationship with Christ is dependent on Him, not on what we do. The form of our corporate worship is not nearly as important as the hearts of those engaged in that worship. And we decided that at different times each kind of corporate worship could be best. There is just not One Way to worship together. That would be a method, a pattern. Our life with Christ dies by patterns that do not depend on Him.

However, that's not what I wanted to write about. That's just background information. In fact, I've got a little more background information too.

Ben has started a time of prayer that we host at our flat. Originally the plan was to meet each week on Tuesday night, but it's only worked every other week so far. We have about two hours of silence, prayer, and spontaneous Scripture reading, interspersed with songs. It's a wonderful time of quietness and solemnity.

This time of prayer that we host is in addition to Wednesday afternoon's time of Team prayer. The Impact team meets together at different member's flats to pray and share a meal. And this time of prayer last Wednesday is what triggered this entire blog post.

As we sat in Jeff's flat praying, we kept having different interruptions. We might laugh together at something, someone would ring the doorbell as they arrived late. One member had to escort a guest to the nearby train station. All in all, it wasn't the focused time of prayer and solemnity that I somehow expected.

I have been in many, many different meetings of The Body as I've grown up. Having a set "form" of service can lead to me tuning out, just going through motions. Currently I am very appreciative of small groups of seekers meeting on their own to pray and discuss their pursuit of Him. Since the group does not have a set pattern of doing things, it feels different, and feels more like I'm worshiping God and responding to Him.

But sitting in Jeff's flat this past Wednesday, I realized again that having no pattern is a pattern. And, in fact, patterns will emerge very quickly. Expectations creep in, and I can tune out anywhere. The point of worship is not the form, the point of worship is not how it feels. The point of worship is God. It's an attitude, a heart-spirit. That is why I can be sitting in the midst of the Body, and we can be sharing a laugh, and still be worshiping. People can come and go, doing what they must, and we are still worshipping.

In Sunday School when I was about six I learned a simple chant that I will carry with me the rest of my life. It is not a complete definition, but it still serves to remind me of the point of worship. It goes like this:

W-O-R-S-H-I-P,
Here's what worship means to me
Telling God
how special
He is

In His Time,

My sister had a birthday

2005-04-07T08:20:00.000-05:00

Yeah, so, yesterday was my eldest sister's birthday. She turned fifteen! I'm still trying to recover from the shock of realizing that she is fifteen, and going to be sixteen next year. *sniff sniff* they grow us so fast.

I got to call just before lunch time and talk with her. That was nice. She liked my gift, a Barlow Girl CD. Which is good, 'cause she helped me pick it out before I left to come over here. It's also good because she got poison ivy on her feet, and it helps to distract her.

I'll brag a little bit more on my sister, since I'm talking about her. This past Saturday she went to our local Bible Bowl tournament, the Greenwood Round Robin. Now, we've played Bible Bowl together for two years, this current year being her third. I've taught her everything I know, other than the text. She had to memorize that herself.

So this past Saturday Mikaela casually takes the Bible Bowl Individual test, like every month. And she scores a perfect 150!!!! Another girl, one of our top friendly competitors, also scored a perfect 150. So it came down to a written tie-breaker. And Mikaela won! She didn't make any mistakes. I'm so proud of her, and of the rest of my family too.

In His Time,

A Sun-Soaked Day

2005-04-05T09:42:00.000-05:00

Today, I decided to play the tourist. I woke up a little later than I had planned, but that's okay. Tourists shouldn't worry about time too much.

But sometimes tourists do worry about the time, so I didn't dwaddle as I prepared to go out. I packed what I had for lunch, and made a mental note of what I needed to get at a store.

A good tourist always checks to see what the weather is like before going out. About 50 degrees, sunny, with a good chance of increasing heat as the day progressed. Beautiful.

I left the flat, walked to the metro station, occasionally greeting the natives in their own language, like any good tourist. I managed not to gawk, stumble over things while staring at gorgeous buildings, or get run over on my way to the metro. I realized that I was letting the tourist image down a little bit. I made up for it by trying my very best to speak the native language clearly. I'm sure that this was every bit in character for a tourist, because I got a few blank looks from fellow pedestrians.

I entered the metro, rode to a centrally located store, and purchased what I needed to complete my lunch. Again the good tourist, I thanked the cashier and said goodbye, all in the native tongue. It's so fun to experience new places!

I again boarded a metro and rode to Vysehrad. I had been informed by friends that there existed in this area a second castle (the first being Prague Castle, an inevitable tourist attraction). Being a good tourist, I did not want to go where "everyone else" was going. I needed to find vistas off the beaten path.

Fortunately, the "off the beaten path" was fairly easy to find, enclosed as it was by massive, ancient stone walls. Grass, trees, and beautiful views of the city predominated. The sun had risen and been shining long enough to warm the air up considerably. Like a good tourist, I ignored the local measuring unit of temperature, and estimated that it was 65 or 70 degrees out.

I realized that I had again slacked off from my primary task, and had not even removed my camera from my backpack, much less taken any pictures. I speedily addressed this wrong, and began seeking photographic opportunities. Fortunately, such opportunities abounded. Tunnels, walls, buildings, and the views from each of these, began filling my camera memory.

With this difficulty momentarily turned aside, a second one presented itself. Having contracted a cold a few days earlier, my nose was still producing mucus in large quantities. This in itself was not a problem, until I ran out of tissues. From this point onward, it became much more difficult to enjoy the gloriously warm day, the stunning views, and the ancient architecture. All I could think about was my nose, and how uncomfortable it was.

Finally, with a tourist's sigh, I retraced my steps to find a public restroom. Unlike public restrooms in the States, you must pay 3 crowns (between 12 - 15 cents) to use their facilities here. Having put it off as long as I could, this tourist bowed to necessecity and blew his nose on Czech toilet paper.

This unpleasant business finished, I once again was free to resume my tourist duties. Directly across from the public restrooms, though I had not seen it before, lay a cemetery. Walking silently between the packed plots of ground, I was once again reminded of how fragile our life is. Even more than that, how temporary it is. Each of these people were cherished, loved, and were energetic beings in life. But now, most of them no longer even have anyone to remember them. All that it left is an ornate coffin, resting in a beautiful cemetery.

Having been reminded of this lesson, I left the cemetery and returned to my circuit of the castle. The sun continued to shine warmly upon me, and I paused a few time to bask in it's embrace. I noticed several people sitting on the grass, and one couple even enjoying a picnic.

It struck me that this would be a perfect day for a picnic. Warm, just a touch of breeze, sunshine, no bugs yet...And all of this on a castle! Not bad at all. I would have liked to try it out myself, but I didn't have a blanket with me, nor anyone to share the picnic with. So I resigned myself to eating lunch on a large, uniquely shaped rock.

I must say, I like being a tourist on a day like this. I may have to try it again.

In His Time,

Too Much Alcohol

2005-03-31T14:05:00.000-05:00

So, in coming over here to the Czech, I knew that this was the beer capitol of the world. I mean, beer and alcohol is cheaper than water! And I was ok with the full bars in the gyms, ice cream shops, and every little restaurant. But yesterday I saw something just a little too over the top for me.

I'm walking from my flat to the metro, taking the new shorter way that I found just a few weeks ago. Along the way I pass the radio tower, a hair salon, a paint store, and several miscellaneous buildings. Now, every other time that I've passed this hair salon, the lights have apparently been turned off. Because as I pass the salon this particular morning, I can see in the window. Much to my surprise, there is a full bar along one side of the salon! Maybe the hair stylists who work there aren't all that good, and need their customers to be a little on the happy side to get away with their haircuts. I don't know. But it just totally surprised me to find that there are bars in hair salons here.

In His Time,

God Loves Freely

2005-03-29T10:01:00.000-05:00

I've been reading The Ragamuffin Gospel, along with Colossians. I am astonished how much The One Thing - pursuing God as the only thing in my life - permeates Colossians. Not astonished that it's there, but that I missed it before. I mean, I memorized the book, quoted it once or twice a week in my prime review season.

But both The Ragamuffin Gospel and Colossians underscore a truth that I've been realizing with fresh, bracing, shocking, astonishing clarity. Jesus paid it all, all to Him I owe. Sin had left a crimson stain, He washed it white as snow. He loves me so unconditionally, so completely and fully. There is nothing I can do, did do, will do, that prompted this. Nothing causes this love, except God. I can't do anything to make him love me - either more, or at all. He loves me just as I am, right now. He loves me this way just as much as if I did something that seems great in His name. He loves me this way just as much now as he would if I launched a nuclear weapon as Tokyo, the largest city in the world.

This is outrageous. It's not fair. God loves people who don't deserve it. They don't have to do anything for Him, there are no requirements or strings on His love. So what's to keep me from not doing anything for Him? I'm concerned that I'm just going to stop working for Him, get lazy. I take things to Him all the time mentally, talking them over with Him. But I don't have to do anything.
In His Time,

Joeletter 8.2

2005-03-29T06:46:00.000-05:00

I'm just barely slipping a second Joeletter for this month in. It's amazing how time is flying by over here. (We had Daylight Savings Time kick in, losing an hour by setting our clocks forward).

Again, so much has happened. First of all, some sad news. Satan is seeking new ways to discourage us. Last Monday night the Impact office was broken into. The thieves bent apart two of the 1/4 in. steel bars over the windows and made off with two laptops and a large amount of money.

But there is happy news too. One of the Impact-Munich staff was able to drive down to Prague and visit us over the Easter weekend. It was a great blessing to have Sandy here. In addition, students from Johnson Bible College traveled up from a town on the southern border of the Czech Republic to be with us as well.

Over the Easter weekend we held an Easter Vigil in our under-development Prayer Room. The walls are painted, but the floors are still bare and there is no permanent source of heat yet. A large rug was brought in, along with a small electric heater. Friday night we opened the weekend with a candlelight service commemorating Jesus' death. We had singing, prayer, and Scripture readings. At the close of the service we extinguished all of the candles, representing Christ's light going out of the world.

Immediately following the service we began the prayer vigil. I was able to take the first hour shift. We were reminded that prayer is not simply sitting and talking to God, though that is a major portion of it. Prayer is also praising God through music, art, and dance, and reading His Word. I was very blessed by the time I was able to spend as part of the vigil.

Unbroken, the vigil continued until Saturday night. Several people were involved, including the JBC group, the Impact team, and other Christians here in the city. At this service we entered and held unlit candles. A lighted candle, representing Christ's Light, came into the Prayer center. From this central candle each Christian lit our own small candle. What had been a dark room was filled with light.

Again on Saturday we had a time of singing, Scripture reading, communion, and a time of blessing and anointing. The vigil continued through Saturday night, and ended Sunday morning with a third service celebrating the resurrection.

On Saturday I was also able to visit one of my Czech friends, Filip, at his house twenty minutes outside of Prague. He had invited me to come go downhill biking with him. Not knowing exactly what that was (but wanting to be able to spend time with him), I agreed. When I got off the train I borrowed his brother's bike and we set off for the hill. First of all, Filip's brother is taller than me. So when sitting on the seat of his bike, I was not able to touch the ground with my feet.

But that was okay, I was still able to ride along and balance myself fine. After all, riding a bike isn't about your feet touching the ground. We got to the hill, and started up. Now, this hill turned out to be a wooded, rocky kind of hill. There were trails cut through it, and jumps and steeps banked turns thickly sprinkled throughout.

I had agreed, upon borrowing the bike, not to do any jumping with it. In the first place, I didn't know how to jump, and in the second place the seat was too high for me to land safely anyway. So as I looked at the jumps and turns scattered along the trail, I knew that I was not going to try any of them. I figured that I would just sedately pedal along down the hill.

We kept climbing, and passing more and more insane jumps. At several of them Filip would turn around and do them a few times, showing me how it worked. He did them quite well. But I knew that I couldn't. Nevertheless, he urged me to try them. He even lent me his bike to ride, because it was more suited to downhill jumping. I got started trying once, riding down the hill toward a very big U in the ground. But two yards into it, bumping over the stones and tree-roots embedded in the trail, I knew that this was a very bad idea and I quickly stopped.

All this fear was present before Filip told me how one time he had taken this same jump and accidentally bent his front wheel sideways at the bottom of the U. The bike stopped. Filip didn't. He flew into a tree, cracking his helmet into two pieces. Fortunately for him, he was fine. But his friend, about a week later, did something similar without a helmet, and had to be helicoptered off the mountain. I didn't have a helmet. And I had never tried this extreme sport before. So, I decided to be a live chicken rather than a dead lion, and told Filip I just couldn't do it.

He was very gracious, though he didn't completely understand how a person wouldn't want to at least try this insane, extreme sport. I agreed to watch him do a few more jumps before lunch. Because in all truth, it is very exciting to be there in person and watch these riders pedal down the trail and take the jumps. But the second time Filip tried the jump, he tumbled out of control himself, hurting his back. At this point I knew that it was not cowardice but wisdom that was keeping me from trying the hill. Well, I knew before, but this just proved my point - both to myself and to Filip.

We walked back to his house for lunch, and I got to meet his parents. He showed me some pictures on his computer, we went for a walk, climbed a tree, built a fire, and watched a man fly his remote control airplane over the hillside. All in all, it was a good day.

Sunday night and Monday I got to spend with the students from JBC. We visited Cream & Dream, the best ice cream shop I have ever been too. The shop itself is in Old Town, a very picturesque and ancient part of the city. It's a huge tourist magnet, and for good reason. But being so old, it's very difficult to find your way around in Old Town, especially when you haven't spent much time there. What I am trying to say is, we briefly got lost. Yes, I know what I say - "I'm never lost, I know exactly where I am. It's just getting to where I'm going that's the hard part." And that would be true. But to all you Negative Nancy's, we were lost.

One of the brilliant ideas that the team had was implemented on the way to Cream & Dream. When writing thank you notes to the supporters who had allowed them to take this mission trip, why not write them on post cards from Prague?! So we stopped at a store and they picked out cards. In addition, a few of them started their shopping.

Duke bought a toboggan style hat. Some call them a beanie cap, but this doesn't have a propeller on top. It is a knit, stretchy, warm hat. In the front it says Czech Republic, with the national crest. Later than night Ross was describing something to me, and said, "It was the same color as Duke's hat, that kind of yellow." Duke snatched the hat off his head, looked at it, and exclaimed, "What! This hat is yellow?! I thought it was blue! Why'd you let me buy a yellow hat! People have been looking at me all night. I thought it was 'cause they were admiring how cool I looked. It's 'cause I'm wearing a yellow hat with my black jacket!!!!" It was absolutely hysterical. Apparently Duke had in his head that he wanted to buy the blue hat, and had mentally stopped paying attention to the color as he bought it and put it on.

We did find our way to Cream & Dream, and the team graciously paid for my ice cream. In fact, the team graciously paid for a lot of my meals while they were here. I became quite fond of them. Apparently the feeling was mutual, because they invited me to join them Monday for their shopping/siteseeing time in the city.

With much joy I accepted the invitation and joined them bright and early at one of the Metro stops. We visited a park with a great view of the city and took several pictures. Then we visited Bohemia Bagel, the only place in the city where they sell a bagel breakfast. I ordered and took a couple tables, saving them for the rest of the group. But when I looked back, I didn't see the group!! My bagel came, so I started eating it. They still weren't there, so in confusion I pocketed the other half of my bagel (which tasted fantastic as usual) and caught a tram to where I knew they were planning on heading next. They weren't there when I arrived, so I waited.

When they showed up, it turns out that they had gone to the cafe next door. They had told me, but I was focusing on the cashier and hadn't heard. With much rejoicing we were reunited, and set off to do more shopping.

The girl I was accompanying, Tabi, and I visited the Museum of Medieval Torture Instruments. It was the kind of place where you talked in hushed voices. It's beyond me how anyone could inflict this kind of damage on another human being. These instruments were designed to create suffering, most of them maximum suffering with minimum effort. We humans are capable of such destructive acts.

The JBC team left today and flew back to the States. I miss them a lot, and not just because they fed me. In the short time they were here they extended a lot of love to me. I was very blessed by their visit.

In His Time,

So....Shumdla

2005-03-21T13:29:00.000-05:00

Um, I just found out more what Shumdla really means. You remember Snow White and the Seven Dwarves? Yeah, can you name all them? The last one, the one who looked kinda funny, with the funny hat, his name was Dopey. So, apparently, his name in Czech is Shumdla. And that's now my name as well. haha, thanks to all my good Czech friends.

In His Time,

Confusion in the Streets

2005-03-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

So, according to one of our friends here from the States, they periodically reroute all the trams to make it more difficult for foreigners to get around. I'm starting to believe him.

On Wednesdays I help teach English during the midday, then catch a tram to meet with the Impact team for prayer. The number 18 tram goes directly from where I help teach to where we would be meeting, at Steve Cone's flat. Well, normally it does.

As the tram pulled up, I noticed that over the sign where the tram stops for that particular tram are posted, was a large yellow sign. But since it was in Czeck, I causally disregarded it. Mistake number one.

I got on, rode for a few stops, and all was as it should be. Then we pulled into Hradchanska. This is where the tram should have turned to go to Steve's flat. But to my great consternation, we went in what I knew to be the wrong direction! My mind flashed back to that yellow paper in horror.

At the very next stop I got off the tram and started walking back in the other direction. At the place where Tram 18 should have turned, I turned and walked to the next tram station. Just as I got there, Tram 1 pulled in. I knew that Tram 1 also went to Steve's flat, so I boarded and sat down. We started off in the right direction, and all was fine. But presently I realized that this tram was going in the wrong direction in it's circuit. It would eventually turn around and go back the way it had come from, taking me to Steve's. But it would be much faster to get off and board Tram 1 going in the other direction. So at the first opportunity I stepped off.

Tram 1 going in the other direction came along and I boarded with a sigh of relief. I was fairly late at this point, but that was ok. The rest of the team would understand. I rode for a few stops, and noticed that this tram was also going in the wrong direction!!!!!! You must understand, trams only go two directions in their circuit. They either go the way you want to go, or they go the direct opposite way. But here, for the first time, a dreadful new twist had been added to the tram condrum. Of the two directions the trams were running, neither of them were right!

thoroughly disgusted and weirded out at this point, I thought briefly about commandeering a tram and driving myself to my destination. Well, I thought more than briefly about it. But good sense prevailed, and I got off at a place where I knew I could walk to Steve's house.

Since that ridiculous day the trams have returned to normal, and everything is as it should be now. But I will always look with fondness on the day I almost commandeered a tram.

In His Time,

JBC Group

2005-03-21T12:12:00.000-05:00

Today a group of ten students from Johnson Bible College flew over from the States. They landed here in Praha, and are taking a train down south to a town right on the border of the CR to do some work until Thursday. On Thursday they will ride back up and join us here in Prague for Easter weekend.

Along with them is Jonathan Ruff, one of the DTI students from last year. His overseas site was also Prague. During the week that the JBC students are here in the CR working, he is staying at Ben and my (our) flat. It's nice to have him here.

But the biggest surprise I saved for last. As we met the group, I saw someone who looked vaguely familiar. The thought ran through my head, "How random would it be for this guy to be here?" Taking the chance, I sidled over to him and said "Where ya from, brother?" Much to my satisfaction, he answered, "Batesville, Indiana."

This guy, Ross, went to the same Church Camp back home that I grew up in. I hadn't seen him for a couple of years, following a week of camp together. Now, here he is, in his second year at JBC, on a trip to Prague. And wonder of wonders, here I am too! It's amazing how our Father works.

The other half of the skiing trip

2005-03-21T11:05:00.000-05:00

So we didn't just spend time skiing on the trip to the alps. That was, of course, the upfront reason that we went, and the reason people joined the trip. But the secondary purpose in going was to help present the Christian worldview to people who didn't really know what it was/is.

In the evenings we gathered in the main room after supper. Different student leaders were assigned each night to lead us in a game or two. One evening we played King Frog. Following the game time we had a short song service. We took Impact's new djimbe along, and I got to play each evening. Then came the sharing time. One of our student leaders was either interviewed by Brian, our leader, or shared their testimony. Then came the main speaker for the evening. Different leaders spoke each evening, presenting a story from the Bible in a new way. They each encouraged us to consider the Christian worldview, referring to the story and the effect that Jesus had.

All but one night finished out with us getting into groups of those we roomed with. In each group we talked over a few questions that stemmed from the evening's subject. The goal was to help stimulate more thoughts on what was presented, the Christian worldview. It was very interesting to me to hear different worldviews, and see some things that I agreed with. At the same time, there were several things that I didn't agree with. It was a wonderful time for me to think, just as much as I hope they were doing.

The last night that we met, after the groups time, most of us left and went to bed. The next morning I heard that one of the students had chosen to accept Christ that night. He was one of the ones we had each privately considered most unlikely to choose our Savior. It was amazing.

In His Time,

Joeletter ..... Um... 8.1?

2005-03-19T06:59:00.000-05:00

Ok, wow, it's been a very, very, very long time since I updated this blog, or wrote to anyone. I'm sorry, kinda. What I mean is, I'm sorry that I wasn't able to let people know what all is going on. But the reason for that, well, I'm not so sorry that it was impossible for me to write to you all. Let me explain. Brace yourselves, sit down in your computer-desk chair. This past week, from last Saturday to last Thursday I went downhill snowskiing in the Austrian Alps!!!!!!!!!! Absolutely amazing! For me it was the skiing experience of a lifetime. Let me try to paint you a picture of what it all was like. I'll start with the lift tickets. Now, you must have a lift ticket to get carried up the mountain (yes, mountain). I am only used to a lift ticket that you clip onto your clothing and forget about. But here, they have a much nicer system. Each lift ticket is magnetically charged. So you ski up to the turnstyle, maneuver your ticket close to the reader (it looks like those shoplifting sensors at the doors of big stores) and it lets you through. Now, that's all well and good. But the best part is that you can put that ticket anywhere (like in a small pocket in your glove) and it will work through the fabric. You don't even have to get it out, just hold your glove by the reader and ski through. So that was the first neat thing. Next comes the gondolas. To get up the first half of the mountain you ride inside these gondolas. It comes around the corner, and you slide the ends of your skiis into slots that hold them outside the cabin. Then you step in through the little door with your ski poles. You can fit up to six people, three to a side, in each cabin. But we usually just fit five in, because it can get a little tight with all those people. You ride for about fifteen minutes and then step out of the gondola and grab your skiis at the other end of the line.

But this is only halfway up the mountain. You can choose to ski down from here, or ski to the other main lift that takes you the rest of the way up to the top of the mountain. Now, this lift is not the gondola type, but the chairlift type. You ski up to the line, and a chair comes around behind you and scoops you up. This is the type of lift I am used to from skiing in Indiana. But I had never seen a chair lift that was so large! This chairlift could carry six people per chair. And it came with ski rests! You pulled a metal bar down from above your head and rested your skiis on the ski rest. It was very nice. And last, but not least, was a clear plastic bubble that could also be pulled down over the chairlift. If the weather was nasty, or the wind was blowing, you could seal it all out on the way up the mountain, and ride in perfect peace.

But that's not what you wanted to hear about. Those are just some of the neat amenities that were offered. Now on to the real skiing.

At the very top of our mountain you could look all around, in every direction. And in every direction you could see mountains that were higher than us. Gorgeous, giant, snow-capped, craggy, majestic mountains. I don't know for sure just what it is, but every time I see mountains I am amazed and impressed by their majesty. And to think that our God made them. He is so much more majestic, so much grander, so awesome.

The mountain was covered with pine trees. It was a beautiful contrast to see the shining white snow and the dark green fir trees. But there was something that I'm still curious about. There were many, many pine trees there that had no needles on them. It is, according to my friends, an evergreen tree that is not evergreen. They didn't know the English name for them, but thought maybe it was spruce? I'd sure like to know, if anyone has any experience with pine trees that drop their needles in the winter.

On the first day of skiing the snow was okay, a little thick maybe. In the morning it was a little blustery, but afternoon brought a brilliant blue sky and excellent skiing on the lower half of the mountain. I've never had so much fun skiing in my life! That first day also brought my first skiing mistake. In an area that had some thick snow, I fell and twisted my left knee/ankle. It hurt quite a bit for about a minute, and then I was able to stand up. Fortunately the boot kept my ankle from twisting too far. My knee had definitely been twisted farther around than it was used to going. But after about a minute I was able to get up and keep skiing. I just had to be a little gentle when skiing on my left side.

I was able to keep skiing all the rest of that day without any problem. But on the bus ride to where we were staying, and while sitting that evening, my knee got really stiff. That seemed to confirm to me that it was just sore, and that the best thing for it would be to keep working it out by skiing on it. I was able to borrow a knee brace from one of the other guys for our second day of skiing, and it was a big help.

So we stayed at a retreat center run by a church in a small town about 30 mountain minutes from the ski resort. I say mountain minutes because it must take longer to drive anywhere in the mountains that it does on the flat lands of my upbringing. Each morning we took a bus at nine o'clock to the skiing mountain.

On the second day, skiing conditions were perfect. The ski was a deep, gorgeous blue. The mountains surrounding us were crystal clear. The snow was just right - not too slushy, not too icy, just perfect. I was able to ski just fine and totally forget about my knee, again proving to me that it just needed to be worked out. We were nearing the end of the day when I made my second skiing mistake. This one was much better than my first one though.

Ok, so I'm skiing down the mountain. I decide try a run I had only gone on one time before, on our first day of skiing. It's a very easy run, just a straightaway out on a slight incline, then a 180 degree turnaround and back in the direction you came from. Now, all the time this run is heading down. So if you looked at the run from a point off of the mountain, it would look like a V on it's side. You would ski down the upper part of the V, then turn around and ski down the lower part.

So I'm cruising down the upper part of the V, trying to keep my speed up. This particular run isn't very steep, so if you don't keep up your speed you might end up poling along. Well, I remembered that there was a shortcut right where the two legs of the V-on-it's-side come together. If you take the shortcut, it can add to your speed. Well, in the interest of speed I decided to take it. I came right up to where it should be, slewed around and shot over the edge onto the shortcut. Except for one small problem. I had turned too soon! So when I shot over the edge onto what should have been the shortcut, I actually came over the side, bounced off of the shortcut trail, and fell off of it! I ended up twisting my right knee in the same way as my left one, except not as badly.

But, again, it just needed to be skiied off, and I was able to finish out the rest of the week without any more injuries. Right now my right knee is fine most of the time, and my left knee just needs a little more time. It's still sore and a little weak, but I'm sure it's healing fine. I was able to ski the best I think I've ever skiied in my life on this mountain, even doing an Alpine Black Diamond run a couple/three times. (Black diamonds are the hardest designation in skiing). My skiing improved, and now what all my instructors in the States were trying to teach me makes so much more sense.

One of the funniest things about skiing in the Alps is the weather. While it is cold enough to maintain snow, the sun is out every day. Several people got sunburns, and I was soaked with sweat for the first few days until I was able to figure out a layering system that was light enough to cool off in.

But the best part about the skiing trip, as incredible as it was, was not the skiing. This week was being run as a skiing camp, inviting both students who did and who didn't know about Jesus to come. Each evening we would play a couple games, have a few songs, then have a short time of teaching/informing. Wednesday night, the last night that we stayed there, one of the students asked Jesus into his heart! It was amazing to see God working in this way. And it was so wonderful to welcome a new brother.

Those are some highlights from the ski trip. I'd also like to share a highlight from before the ski trip. The night before we left we ate supper at a restaurant here in Prague. Jeff, the Impact team leader, knows the restaurant very well, and he got our menus for us from the little holder. I did not know how surprised and happy I would be to open the menu and read it in English! I didn't think the language barrier was really bothering me. But it brought me way too much happiness to be able to open the menu and read what all they were offering. We don't eat out very much, when when we do it's kinda frustrating to partly guess what all you are ordering. Culture shock.

The weather on the ski trip was absolutely gorgeous. When we returned to Praha, it followed us here, at least for Friday. I felt like a whole new person in a whole new city with the added warmth. It was up to about 10 degrees C, which is about 50 degrees F. Our usual temperature is 0 degrees C, 32 F. So you can imagine how much nicer it felt. This morning it started to get colder again. I'm hoping that was a fluke, and it warms up again. It's really nice to be in a warm Prague.

Tonight they will be holding what I think is the World Championship for hacky-sack here in Prague. As I was walking to the tram a man asked me where the Metro Station was. I took him there, and it turns out he was looking for an ATM to get out the registration fee to enter the hacky-sack tournament. For three years now, if I understood correctly, the World Champion has been a certain resident of Prague. It only costs 50 crowns to watch, and I think it's being held right by my house. So, I'm planning to go watch tonight. It may be something that God is doing, connecting with people. At the very least I can pick up some hacky-sack moves!

Well, that's a lot of the news from this end of the world. It's always good to hear from you all, even when I can't respond as fast as I'd like.

In His Time,

Ok, a disclaimer

2005-02-28T12:07:00.000-05:00

Um, I went out walking, and looked again at the amazing feat of parking that the average Pragian (um, citizen of Prague?) performs everyday. I was slightly chagrined to find out that I may have been slightly misleading, though not on purpose. After looking again at the cars parked "five inches away from each other," I found that they are actually about two feet apart. Oh well, it sounded amazing at the time. However, remember that truck that was parked between two buttresses of a wall? Yeah, that truck was still really, really close to the stone parts. It looked pretty much impossible.

Peace out.

In His Time,

Joeletter 7.2

2005-02-28T11:10:00.000-05:00

So much has happened since the last Joeletter! I haven't picked any weird yogurts since I wrote last, for which I'm grateful. I've been able to continue playing floor-ball and basketball with the guys. Today I went with Philip, one of the guys, to play pool and ping-pong for a couple of hours. It was nice to be with him, and he helped me improve both my cue-ball shooting, and my paddle skills.

This past week we got to go to Munich, Germany for a week. That ambiguous 'we' refers to Ben, myself, Jeff Valodine, Steve Cone, and Mark Fischel. We rode on a train for six hours, and were greeted by Sandy Graham. Also part of the Impact-Munich team are Brandy Laurance and Bethany Schmich. We took over their apartment for the time we were there, and they graciously stayed with a friend.

It was nice to be able to visit a different city. Their subway system, though, took a little getting used to. Here in Praha, there are only three Metro lines. If you go to one station, only one line runs through it. In Munich, however, just like New York, many different lines can run through one station. Thus you have to watch carefully to make sure when a subway train pulls into the station that it's the right one for you.

Something fun about the subway, though, that kind of made up for the subway differences, was the escalators. You may remember that here in Praha, the escalators can be six and a half stories tall. Well, in Munich they aren't as tall, but they stop when nobody is using them. When you want to use it, you just walk up and step on the motion activating pad. The great part is that there is one of these pads at each end of the escalator. So you can go up or down on the same escalator! It's really fun to walk up to an escalator, and make it move in the direction you want to go. I wanted to bring one home, but it wouldn't fit in my backpack. Oh well . . .

While we were in Germany we had a chance to visit Dachau, the first WWII concentration camp. It wasn't ever used for mass extermination, but it had the facilities too. But even without that specific evil, Dachau was still a somber experience. I kept thinking about the fact that not too long ago, right where I was standing/walking/breathing, prisoners had stood/walked/breathed. It was surreal. It was also sobering to see what a world without God naturally, logical ends up looking like.

I didn't realize how large such camps were. I'm sure that Dachau was by no means the largest camp. But the prisoners camp was enormous, with room for a massive amount of people. And the camp itself extended way beyond just the prison camp. Much larger by far was the part of the camp that supported the prison officers and wardens.

All in all, I am very glad that we got the chance to go see Dachau. As horrific as it was, it was good to be there physically, and see it with my own eyes.

One morning we got a chance to spend some time with two Mormon guys. For several months they have been regularly meeting with Sandy and Robert, and we were invited to join in. I really appreciated the time, though I said not one word. I came into the meeting pretty sure that this was a learning time for me, just as much a time where we hoped to plant more seeds within these two young men. Several significant, major differences between our two belief systems were explained, which was very helpful to me. Also, listening to everyone else talk was a great chance to think more about my own faith, and what that looked like.

In addition to seeing part of the city, we spent as much time as possible with the Impact-Munich team. We were blessed with three times of corporate worship, singing interspersed with prayer. God used the skills He has given us, Ben playing guitar, and me playing makeshift drums. It was a wonderful time of family, though none of us are biologically related to each other.

Bethany, one of the Impact girls, shares my (or should I say I share her) penchant for reading. We discussed several books both of us had read, as well as exchanged the names of authors we recommended. Due to the lack of space coming over, I didn't bring many books with me. Bethany kindly loaned me some, which I am devouring. They will be coming down to visit us at the end of March, at which point I will be able to give them back. In the mean time, it's great on the Metro.

Yes, I'm feeling quite comfortable on the Metro, and somewhat on the tram lines, to read and listen to music while traveling from place to place. It's a good feeling, and one that I know I'm going to miss quite a lot when I go home. It's so nice to be able to go anywhere, with a minimal amount of trouble.

Well, that's quite a bit of what all has happened. I know I'm forgetting some things, but those are the highlights. Thanks for your prayers.

In His Time,

So, four weeks in . . .

2005-02-22T08:00:00.000-05:00

Right, so I know I've been here four weeks now. How do I know this so conclusively, you ask? I know because the beginning of this week was the fourth time I changed my pants. That's right, I've been going about a week in each set of jeans that I brought. I'm getting at least two days out of each shirt, frequently three or four.

I would appreciate a few more simple recipes, with simple things that I can get at the store. I still enjoy my staples of bread/sausage/cheese, spaghetti, and boiled carrots. But I suspect that I should get a little more variety in my diet.

Oh, one more thing. I'm currently in Munich, Germany. Yeah, it's kinda surreal to me too. I mean, Germany is a place I read about in history books, a place over in Europe. I've never been there. Quite a weird feeling, let me tell you. But I love it.

We rode the train six hours to get here from Prague, and got here last Saturday afternoon at 3:15. We're here until Thursday. We are getting to visit the Impact team here in Munich, and see some of the city. It's been wonderful so far, and looks as though it will continue to be. I am continuing to learn what it is to pursue God in new ways. Thank you for your continued prayers.

In His Time,

So much to say, and I've forgotten it all!

2005-02-14T09:37:00.000-05:00

This is so aggravating. I have been thinking of quite a few things that I want to share with you all via my blog. But as soon as I get on the internet, I forget them all!

Ok, I'll try to remember.

Another thing that's fairly weird here in Prague is the fact that cars regularly drive down the sidewalk. It's slightly unnerving to find cars where you are expecting to blithely walk home. It helps that the cars are, on the average, quite a bit smaller than cars back home. It's easy to spot vehicles that aren't originally from here, or that weren't designed for this city. Those cars stick out like a sore thumb because they're huge. They are taller and longer than all the other cars.
But one advantage of learning to drive here in Prague is that you learn to parallel park like the angels must. There is rarely more than four inches between the bumpers of parallel parked cars here. I saw one truck that was parked between two concrete buttresses, with about two inches between each bumper and the concrete. No joke, it was for straight up real. Amazing.

Matt and Bethany Harris joined me yesterday (Sunday) evening playing sports with some guys and gals from the church we go to. Usually we play floorball (floor hockey, really) most of the time, and finish with a game of basketball. (Have I mentioned how awful most Czechs are at basketball?) Well, since the guy who has the key to the closet was gone, we just played basketball. The first game we had all the native English speakers together, against all the native Czech speakers. That put the four of us (Matt, Bethany, myself and Lee, a friend of ours here) against the seven of them. We beat them 50 to 44. The second game we tried to switch out teams, appointing both Matt and Bethany as captains. But the way the picking turned out, we just lost Matt and gained Philip and Jana. So we stomped them again, this time 50 to 34 or 36. I really like playing basketball here, because I'm definitely improving and playing well. It's great!

I picked up a pair of slippers at one of the stores here. I like them a lot, because they help me keep my feet warm. When you are in anyone's house, you always take your shoes off. This includes in your own house. And that's fine, except for the part where I get cold feet and thus get cold all over. So I got these slippers. They squish down well, and I can put them in my backpack and take them wherever.

Last Thursday I went to help Jay, another friend here, unpack a crate he had shipped over to himself from the States. Matt Harris also went. We finished up with lunch, and had to wait a little until the crate arrived at the storage unit where he was sending it. So we walked through a couple malls and a grocery store.

The time arrived for us to go to the storage unit. Jay proceeded to lead us towards . . . . the highway? He explained that as of yet he did not know of any other way to get to the storage place from where we were at. I felt a little weird waltzing across an off-ramp and walking alongside the interstate. The only comforting fact was that there was a clearly worn dirt path going right where we were headed.

We walked underneath an overpass, and I had a startling revelation. This was the first time I had ever walked under an overpass, not riding in a vehicle. The whole way across I wondered to myself what it must be like to live under a bridge or overpass. We came out on the other side and continued to follow the path for a couple meters. Then it reared up and over the small hill that led up to the overpass; you know what I mean. It was a slightly drizzly day, and there was some snow and ice left on the ground. This hill was at least a 45 degree angle, if not more. The drizzle, ice, and angle combined to form a ridiculous ascent. I was reduced to climbing with my hands and feet, trying not to slip into the mud and down on top of Matt.

We finally reached the top, and walked through more mud to the storage center. There, the crate arrived a few minutes after we did. We unloaded it onto three dollies (no, not the baby kind, the moving-large-equipment kind). I took one, and wheeled it into the elevator. I asked Matt what floor Jay's storage unit was on, and he said, "Floor 3." So I pushed the button, and up we went. Matt had also told me, "You have to go down one ramp, and then go to the red door." At the third floor I pushed the cart/dolly thing out of the elevator, down the ramp, and to the red door. It was closed and locked. So I waited. While I waited I watched two guys trying to fix a car on that floor.

Oh, small detail. I should mention that the storage units were in the same building as a parking garage. That's why it had the ramp thing. That should also help explain the presence of a broken car (along with several working ones) on-the-third-floor-and-down-a-ramp. So, I waited. Patiently. I took some time to pray, examined my fingernails, tried the doors again to make sure they were locked, and waited.

Finally Matt called to me, "Joel."

I said, "Yo!"

He said again, "Joel."

I said, "The doors are locked."

He said, "Where are you?"

"I'm right in front of the red doors, but they're locked."

"What floor are you on?"

'The third one, and down the ramp"

"Oh, hold on a sec . . ."

I had forgotten a crucial detail in dealing with Czech elevators. The ground floor is always Zero. The next floor up is One, and so on. Floors below the ground are -1, -2, and so on in that direction. So when I go home and push the button for the fourth floor, I am actually five stories high. But according to Czech logic I am on the fourth floor.

Thus, Jay's storage unit was on the third floor, according to American terms. It was the third level above the ground. But according to the Czech elevator, it was the second floor. So Matt came up and helped me move my cart down two more ramps to get to the correct floor.

But remember that this is in a parking garage? Yeah, as we were going down the first ramp, a car whirled around the corner and tried to come up that same ramp. I was fairly sure that it would hit it's brakes. But it took a few more seconds for the car to stop than I would have liked! That car got uncomfortably close. I must admit to emitting a little, "Urp!"

Matt and I finished rolling down that ramp, and got out of the way of the car. The driver gunned his engine and shot up the ramp, clearly angry. We continued down, and finished putting the stuff into the storage unit. All in all, it was an eventful day.

In His Time,

Culture Differences

2005-02-09T07:11:00.000-05:00

It's not really culture shock for me, at least not yet. But I've definitely noticed some culture differences here in Praha.

None of the doors have automatic closing apparatus. Like, no springs and friction bars to close the door behind you. You have to manually close each and every door, or it stays open! That's especially frustrating when you enter a small store or restaurant. They always speak sternly in Czech, telling you to close the door that you left swinging open behind you. Aaugh!

The Czech Republic doesn't believe in Peanut Butter. Well, that's not entirely true. They just don't believe that it should come in large, cheap quantities. A very, very small jar costs about $1.50, maybe $2.00. It's just not feasible to purchase much. In fact, it's cheaper to buy honey that it is to buy PB. Which, that works out okay as far as honey is concerned. I like it a lot. But simply because I can't have peanut butter, as much as I want, whenever I want, I am missing.

Windows. I'm not sure if I've written about this before, but it's another difference. Every house and business I've seen, in every window, has a double set of glass windows. There is the inner set, and the outer set. My guess is that this is to trap heat, and keep the rooms warmer. And it would also tend to discourage thieves. But it's different.

I know I've talked about this before, but there is an absurd number of locks on the door of our flat. We have a grand total of five separately keyed locks to our door, plus a chain. Two of these locks cannot even be accessed from the inside, but only locked from the outside. And two, not one but two peepholes. And all this is in addition to the outside door, the single door that all the flats use to get outside. It also has a lock. When I go home I feel sorta like I'm living in Fort Knox.

I'm starting to get used to the fact that I simply cannot understand most of the people around me. I get on the metro or a tram, and simply realize again that the vast majority of the quiet conversations going on around me are unintelligible. I walk into a grocery store and the fitness center and experience the same thing. Going through the czechout counter is always an experience. Hopefully I will just be able to see how much my purchases cost and give them the money. But a lot of the time they have a question about something, and I have to regretfully respond, "Nevim Cheski," - "I don't know Czech."

Oh, and speaking of money. I'm getting better at calculating how much a thing is worth. Each crown is currently worth between four and five cents. 100 crowns equals about four dollars. It's not too bad. But, it's definitely a difference.

Czechs don't boil carrots. They prefer to eat them raw. Which, by itself, is fine. In fact, raw carrots retain more nutrition. But when you have prepared a batch of boiled carrots for your dinner guests. . .

They also don't break their spaghetti before boiling it. Apparently they are more in favor of having long strands of spaghetti that take forever to wind, chew, and swallow. Again, dinner guests. . .

I don't want to sound like I'm complaining. I love Prague, and I am so glad this is where I was placed for the second semester. But I thought you might enjoy hearing about how different it is here. I certainly have.

In His Time,

Some more thoughts on Evangelism & Discipling

2005-02-09T05:52:00.000-05:00

So, I've been thinking more about my thoughts on evangelism and discipleship. I don't think I'm necessarily wrong, but I think that there is more to be said. (Well, of course, since I'm finite).

I was listening to Acts and Romans on my iPod, which is a wonderful thing to do while riding on the Metro and the trams. And I realized that Paul was evangelizing in a way that didn't fit into the little box that I wrote last time. Therefore, my box must not be complete, or completely right.

Paul didn't stick just to the discipling method of ministry. He was called by God (Acts 13:2-3) to go and do God's work. Reading further in Acts, this looks like preaching in the synagogues and lecture halls. First to the Jews, then to the Gentiles. Paul took this new information, the Gospel, and shared it with people who had never heard it before. Based on the situation, this was the exact method that needed to be followed. Simple moving to a city and waiting for God to raise up disciples would not have been nearly as effective.

So, as God has currently shown me (always subject to further insights from His Word), we are called to situation based ministry/evangelism. We must at all times be ready, through study and the personal pursuit of intimacy with God, both to serve as a mentor and to evangelize/preach. I must be seeking God in such a way that in responding to Him I will both be simply discipling those whom He raises up, and also ready to speak when He gives me a platform, a voice. This idea is the two sides of Spiritual Authority. Whether this authority is extending to one or two people, or a large number of people, I am still just responding to God.

In His Time,

Discipleship

2005-02-07T16:22:00.000-05:00

So I was thinking about Jesus' command to "Go and make disciples." Jeff and I got to talk this evening, and I was really filled with astonishment. Look at this verse again.

Matt. 28:18-20

"Then Jesus came to them and said, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."

Look at the progression in the passage. The reason for this command is Jesus' authority.

"All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me."

All authority is His. That is why we do whatever He says next.

"Therefore, go and make disciples," (emphasis mine)

We are not commanded to evangelize in this passage! We are supposed to make disciples! There's a big difference. In fact, it's the difference between God and evangelism as a priority, a number one priority, and God as the Only Thing in life.

If we see our task here on earth as evangelism, that's what we will focus on. Reaching other people and getting them into the Kingdom becomes our goal. This is a tremendous burden, and engenders a lot of guilt.

On the other hand, if your goal is seeking God as the Only Thing, the One Thing in your life, you have a totally different purpose. All you want to do is seek God in every activity, comparing each thought, action, and emotion to what we know God says about this. Now, this also takes work. You must know what God says, and that also takes devotion. But there is no burden on you to save people.

In fact, you can't save people. Let me say that again. You can't save people. And you say, "Yeah, yeah, of course I can't save people, I'm not God." But when we are trying to evangelize, it is so easy to slip into the mindset where I am doing the work, I want them to be saved, I must reach them so they are not condemned for their sin.

Do we dare think that we want people to be saved more than God does? Does our heart encompass more pain than His? What have we really ever done for the world. What can we really ever do? The world is a mighty big place, and we are mighty small. (You can quote me on that, though I think the original thought came from Ecclesiastes).

So what are we to do? Jesus tells us to go! But He doesn't tell us to go and evangelize. He tells us that all authority is His. Not ours, but His. Thus, we seek Him. We seek Him, and His true Word, as the only thing. The One Thing. And in seeking Him, we will go and make disciples. We will not win large numbers of people. This life is not about winning. And I mean that both ways. This life is not about winning any game. And this life is not about winning people. It's about responding to God, pursuing God, seeking intimacy with God. And as a result of that, God will bring people into our lives who He will make our disciples. If nothing else, that knowledge scares me into seeking Christ as the only thing. I don't want to be caught napping when He wants to work in someone's life, and use my pursuit of Him to do that working.

Father be praised.

In His Time,

Joeletter 7.1

2005-02-07T05:35:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

Wow, Joeletter 7.1! It's amazing that I've been in Deeper for seven months now. God has been so good to me, and gently taught me so much. Like I've said, this is exactly where God wanted me to be this year.

Yesterday, Sunday evening, I was again able to play floor-ball with the guys. I'm just slightly better than I was last week, but not enough to make a whole lot of difference. But it's fun, and the best part of being able to play with these guys is not the winning. It's about being able to respond to God, seeking intimacy with Him, while being around other people. That's a big theme that God is teaching me with right now. It's about taking each thought, whether my own thoughts or others thoughts, and seeing what God has to say about it. Pursuing Him is that simple, walking each thought and action back to Him. It means a little bit of thinking. But it's so freeing. We are freed to simply do whatever it takes to be intimate with God. Making Him the one thing, the only thing that I act upon.

Oatmeal-making is going much better, thanks for your help. I made a simply wonderful bowl last week, with a dollop of honey to spice it up. I'm also enjoying making spaghetti for breakfast. I have to eat it plain, though, because the spaghetti sauce is very sweet over here, and doesn't taste right. I just found some flavoring that I put in this morning's spaghetti, kind of like chicken bullion. I liked that a lot.

I am trying to like tea. Tea and coffee are a fairly big part of this culture, enough so that they sell pitchers that plug into the wall and heat water to boiling in less than a minute. And it makes sense, because it's very cold here. It helps to have something hot/warm to drink. I just want my drink to actually taste like something! I'm too the point that I can stand tea. It smells really good, but the taste always lets me down. I like hot cups of water, though. I just skip the tea step, and go straight for the hot water. It works out pretty well.

So yogurt is a big thing here also. There is a huge selection at every grocery store. And it's none of this fat-free stuff. Here, they make yogurt with real cream! It tastes great, though it takes a little bit of getting used to the texture at first. But in my yogurt purchasing experiences here, I have learned a little caution. You should always look very carefully at the pictures on the little cups of yogurt. If I could read Czech it probably wouldn't be so bad. But, not reading, I must rely on the pictures. And I've purchased some pretty crazy yogurt by not looking.

The first weird one was from Yoplait. I saw cherries on the outside of the cup, and thought, "Oh, I like cherries. I'll get this one." It was also fairly cheap, and I'm always looking for cheap things. I got it out to eat as part of breakfast, and decided not to stir it up. I just left the cherry stuff on the bottom to eat last. As I got down to the color/flavoring, I noticed that in addition to red there seemed to be some brown. I just assumed that the red was so concentrated that it looked brown. Then I started tasting something that really didn't taste like cherry, though there was some of that in there too. I had to think a minute, and looked again at the outside of the cup. Upon this second inspection, I discovered a second crucial picture behind the picture of the cherries. It was a chocolate and cherry yogurt cup! I finished it, but vowed to always look very carefully at the pictures to see what I was actually getting.

All was fine for a few days, mainly because I didn't have a chance to purchase any more yogurt. Oh, and it's not spelled yogurt here. It's jogurty, or jogobella. I'm staying away from the jogobella for a while, though. That's what I bought yesterday. It was the cheapest yogurt on the shelf. One was strawberry flavored, and the other grape flavored. I had never had grape yogurt, so I thought that would be fun to try.

I opened up the cup, and stirred it up. I saw little....things in the yogurt, but that was fine. Almost all flavored yogurts have stuff in them; it makes them better. I took a bite, and found two things out. One, grape flavored yogurt is pretty good. It had little bits of actual grapes in the yogurt, slightly squishy. The other thing I found, though, wasn't quite as exciting. Once again I took a second, closer look at the outside of the cup. Surrounding the grapes on the outside was a picture of wheat stalks. I had just assumed that it as decoration, as usual. In reality, there were small wheat berries in the yogurt! It was hilarious. I would swallow the spoonful of yogurt, and then chew on these moist kernels of wheat. But as fun as it was, it's something you only want to do sparingly. Like I said, I'm going to be avoiding Jogobella for a while, and looking even more carefully at what the pictures have in them.

It's really funny to think about all of you right now. I'm six hours ahead of Eastern time. So when I'm eating lunch, you all are getting up. At supper, it's only lunch time for you. And I'm going to bed about your supper time. It's so funny to think about.

Thank you for your continued prayers that I will be able to see God's perspective in each thought, action, and plan. I am learning so much. And besides that, I'm having a blast!

In His Time,

What to drink, What to drink?

2005-02-03T10:15:00.000-05:00

So the stuff you drink over here is a little different than I'm used to at home. Yes, they have milk and juice, and Coke. But there's more. They sell Mattoni, which is carbonated water with a variety of flavors. I've had pear and peach, and seen many more. It's very different than anything I've seen in the States, especially since it comes in tall, 1.5 liter bottles.

They also sell milk in boxes. These boxes are stacked out in the middle of the aisle, and you can leave them on your shelf at home as long as they are unopened. In fact, these boxes of milk will keep for years if they aren't tampered with. This is because it's like canning milk. They pasturize it, and then seal the box closed. It ships much better, and is much easier to store. Now, once the box has been opened you do have to refrigerate it. But until then you don't have to at all. It's quite different.

I'm starting to get used to using the Crown (Kc) as a currency. I still convert the numbers in my head to have an idea how much something costs. But I'm getting faster at that too. Right now there are 23 Kc to the American Dollar. So to figure out how much a pair of 1180 Kc shoes costs, I just multiply the hundred's digits by four. So a pair of shoes costing 1180 Kc means they cost a little less than $48. (I rounded the 80 Kc up to get 1200 Kc, then multiplied by four). It's a little more difficult when going from American Dollars to Crowns, but since there are about four dollars to every 100 Kc, I just have to divide by four and multiply by 100.

In His Time,

Teaching English

2005-02-03T10:02:00.000-05:00

God has opened a door for Impact-Prague in the teaching English area. A certain principle at an elementary age school has been looking for ways to help the kids at her school do a better job at learning English. This is because even though many many people are seeking to learning English, there aren't very many good teachers. What they need is native speakers.

So this principle has started a program that takes kids on Tuesdays and Thursdays, and places them in a classroom where the teachers are native English speakers. This program is led by Elaine Mudrik, one of the Impact-Prague team members. In the classroom the kids are learning basic English skills, like finding nose/ears/eyes, colors, greetings, and shapes.

I was able to go to the class with Elaine this morning, and help with the kids. They were a lot of fun to work with, though like most kids that age several of them were a little rowdy. I hope to start helping Sunny, another English teacher, on Wednesdays as she teaches conversational skills to 7th and 8th graders. It will be quite different, but I hope to have a chance to share God while we are talking. At the very least I am seeking to be intimate with God while with these kids.

In His Time,

Eating Good!

2005-01-31T11:24:00.000-05:00

The other thing I love about living here is the food. Let's start with bread. Fresh bread is made everyday, at every store! I love it. For supper a few minutes ago I had some fresh bread rolls, some cheese off of a block, and part of a sausage log. It was excellent. I purchased this for about four dollars, and have plenty enough for tomorrow also. Talk about a good deal!

Oatmeal is fairly easy to make, and they sell bags of rolled oats (not instant, but real) very cheaply. I haven't quite gotten the hang of not burning the oats in the morning, but it cleans up pretty easily. Say, how long are you supposed to cook regular oats for, anyway? I looked at the directions, but they weren't much help. You know, being in Czech and all.

I also enjoy making carrots. Man, I make a killer batch of boiled carrots! They sell them pretty clean, so I just have to rinse them off, chunk them, and boil them. Cheap, healthy, and tasty! Rice is the same way. That's been a staple at our flat. I've been using terriaki (yeah, I can't spell) sauce to flavor things a little. I found some honey, slightly expensive, but pretty good. Honey bread, mmm. Is there anything better?

Ben and I have our own rooms at the flat, which works out fairly well. I sleep in the sitting room, where we would entertain guests (if we had any). And Ben sleeps in the kitchen. It makes midnight snacks a little tricky, but I've been incredibly tired every night this week, so that hasn't been too much of a problem. Ben usually sleeps through (or tolerates) me making breakfast in the morning. It works out quite well.

In His Time,

Joeletter 6.3

2005-01-31T08:15:00.000-05:00

The Joeletter

Wow, it's been way too long since I wrote last time. It's going to be difficult to write every week, based on how much time I have to be on the internet. But I'll try my best. There is a lot going on, and I want to share it with you.

Ben and I have been going to the gym on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Saturdays. Ben is showing me what to do. It's fun to be with him, and learn about weight lifting. Afterward we go somewhere to eat breakfast. Steve Cone is going to start going through Mere Christianity and A Long Obedience In A Single Direction with us during these breakfast times.

I love the metro! I've said this before, but I'll say it again. I love the metro! It's so nice to be able to go anywhere in the city, fairly quickly. I don't have to have a driver's license, just a metro card. I can get on any form of public transportation, and go anywhere. It's very convenient. I'll miss it when I come home. The funniest part of Prague's metro is the escalators. Many of the escalators that take you from the surface to the metro, and back up to the surface, are six or six and a half stories tall! It's amazing, and slightly mesmerizing to ride up and down. If you watch the ceiling while riding up, you may fall backward! And once you start, there's no stopping!

Saturday afternoon I went with Marek Mudrik to his son's hockey tournament. Just about every weekend they have a tournament somewhere. The games are either in or close to Prague. It was fun to be with him, and to watch Jan playing. Those kids are really good! They've got a lot of balance, and pretty good control of the puck. Part of being at the ice rink, even though it was indoors, was the cold. It was frigid, and we stayed for about five hours. But even so, it was fun.

Speaking of cold, it's been pretty cold here. I was looking on a map, and the CR is above all of the US. We are on the same line as Canada. That makes for some fairly cold weather, at least right now. Fortunately the public transportation is pretty warm. That helps a lot.

I'm learning a little Czech, slowly. The hardest part is learning what some of the letters sound like, that are different than we would say them. For example, c never sounds like "ka." By itself, c sounds like "st." With an accent mark over it, the c sounds like "ch." And ch sounds like "hu," expelling breath. Oh, and all Czech words are emphasized on the first syllable. As long as I remember that, it makes it easier to know how to say the word. But it's still not easy. The worst letter is r with an accent mark. R by itself is like our r. But with an accent mark it becomes like a cross between "zho" and "cho." The tongue touches the roof of the mouth, and moves forward. But no breath is expelled. And you have to roll the r while you are saying it. It's the most difficult letter in the Czech alphabet, even for Czech people.

I'm being helped by Carrie and Marquetta, and by their brother Jakub. They are part of the Christian community here, and wonderful people. Carrie spent four months in Virginia as part of a college internship. She speaks the best English of the three, but all of them do somewhat. Jakub (pronounced ya-cub - all 'j's sound like y's here) also goes to the gym at the same time we do.

Sunday evening I was invited to go to a gymnasium to play floor-ball with Jakub and his friends. Floor-ball is like hockey, but not on ice and with a ball. The goals are smaller too. The game lasts two minutes, and whichever team has the most goals in those two minutes wins that round. If you win the round you stay in and play the next team. It was very fun, even though I'm not very good yet. A few of the guys speak enough English that we could communicate. That was nice. One of the guys spent a year studying in San Diego. Now he calls everybody 'Nigga.' I call him 'White Trash.' He's a very athletic guys, and very good at floor-ball. For about five minutes at the end we played basketball. Now I wish I would have played more at home, and gotten better. These guys don't play very well, and they're still a little better than me!

Afterward Jakub and I, and a few other players, walked down through the castle. They explained some of the stuff about the castle, practicing their English. We shared quite a few laughs. The city was all lit up, and very pretty at night. That, to me, is the redeeming value of large cities. They are so beautiful to look at at night. I learned what my nickname means too. Carrie was the one who gave me this name. It's Shmudla. It means leprechaun or Dwarf. It's because of the way I am wearing my green balaclava. I tucked the end up into it, and am wearing it as a toboggan cap. But because of the way it is shaped it makes me look like....maybe like a Gnome.

They meet each Sunday night, and I'm invited back. I really hope that it will continue to work out to go each week. It helps me learn what it means to respond to God, to pursue Him, around people. That mindset helps, because I'm there to be with God, not to impress anyone. And that's a good thing, 'cause I sure wasn't very impressive.

God is teaching me about seeking Him in each thing. I'm learning about seeking Him around other people, and seeking Him in study. Also, I'm learning some about seeking Him in stress, and seeking His calmness and plan. Everything is about Him, I just have to learn to see that. And He is faithful.

I'm working on getting pictures on my blog from our flat, and other places around the city. It may take a little bit, but it's coming.

Thank you all for your continued prayers for health, and responsiveness to God. And thank you also for your comments.

In His Time,

Monday/Tuesday

2005-01-25T07:15:00.000-05:00

Monday, yesterday, was great. We caught the metro and tram line from our flat up to the Impact-Prague office, and had a wonderful meeting with all of the team currently available. Thus, we met with Marek and Elaine Mudrik, Jeff Valodine, Matt and Bethany Harris, and of course Tim. We discussed things that we are expected to attend, and how they can help us grow. We also got to talk about ministry opportunities that we are invited to be a part of, if we want. It was a great meeting.

Then Jeff, Tim, Ben and I headed off to a Chinese restaurant for lunch. We got to talk a little bit more, and caught the metro back to Jeff's house. I got to write a few e-mails, update my blog, and play xbox with Jeffey. Then Ben and I walked around town a little, practiced our Czech, and got . . . well . . . not lost. I always know where I am. It's just getting to where I want to go that's the hard part. And, really, it's not like it's possible to get lost here in Prague. I can get on any metro line and get back to my flat. The trams and buses are a little harder, and I'm still learning them. But the metro is a snap now. And we made it back quite nicely.

Today, Tuesday, has been a little hectic, trying to catch up with Jeff. But God is still good. I'm really glad I brought my guitar, it was nice this morning to be able to worship with it.

Today is 'hump' day, probably one of the harder days. I'm finishing up adjusting to jet lag, but with the rushing early this morning I'm a little tired. If I can keep going, I think that I'll be able to adjust pretty soon. Thanks for your prayers.

In His Time,

Church and Shopping

2005-01-24T17:11:00.000-05:00

I'm slowly learning the public transportation system. That's pretty much what we will use to get around town, that and walking. Tram 26 is what we took to get to church.

The service is held in a stadium-seating room that looks like a college classroom. The singing, preaching, everything, is in Czech. Fortunately, this church offers translation. You plug your earphones into a box under each desk, and a translator in the sound booth translates all the talking into English.

The singing, however is untranslated. And right now it's impossible for me to read and sing the words, simply because I'm unused to the pronunciation, let alone the meaning. But while we were worshipping through song I thought about the fact that it's the same God. In the midst of these Czech worshippers, I too was worshipping the same God. It's pretty amazing to me to realized how unfettered God is. He is not limited by language or place. He is the same everywhere.

And that's mainly what we are sent overseas to learn. The simple fact that God is the same everywhere, and thus our response toward Him is too. Away from all that is familiar, we can seek the same God, and draw all things from that.

We also went shopping. Aside from not being able to read anything, we did pretty good. We picked up some honey, milk, eggs, rice, bread, and some fruit and vegetables. Peanut butter is sold for about $2, in very small jars. Cheddar cheese is also scarce, and expensive. But most things we were able to get.
At the Czech-out counter we found out that they don't bag your groceries. And we had purchased quite a lot! Fortunately I had my backpack, and we had a plastic bag. We got everything home, but barely. Here people don't buy so much at one time. Instead, they stop by a store on the way home each and get a few things. It's quite different. But it's fun too.

In His Time,

Praha, Czech Republic!

2005-01-22T13:40:00.000-05:00

We Have Arrived! Ben and I, along with Tim, landed here in Prague (Praha) around 1:15 Eastern time, about 7:15 Prague time. We had three flights; Indy to Detroit, Detroit to Amsterdam, and Amsterdam to Prague.

The longest flight, over the Atlantic Ocean, was in an Airbus30-300. It was, quite simply, the largest passenger airplane I have ever seen or been on. In addition to the large 1st class section there was two huge coach sections. Each coach section had two rows of seats on each side, and a row of four seats down the middle. So there was eight seats across, with two hall/paths. It was just amazing.

We have our own flat over here in Prague, a really nice setup for Ben and I. There is a Kitchen, a Living Room/Bedroom, a hall-type area, and a very small balcony. It's huge and really nice compared to how a lot of people here in Prague have to live.

The bathroom that we use over here is different than at home. It's split into two parts, the toilet part and everything else. The toilet room (or Water Closet) is very small. And our particular model (circa 1950's) uses a gravity flush. Yup, we pull a cord and the water runs down from a tank up on the wall. It works pretty good, it's just funny to be using one.
The other part of our bathroom is slightly larger, and includes the bathtub and washing machine. Here in Europe they don't have dryers, so when we do laundry we will have to hang it out to dry.

Just getting into our apartment is still exciting. We live on the fourth floor. Fortunately, we do have an elevator. At nights when we come home we turn on the light at the door downstairs, and get into the elevator. At the top we have about enough time to try unlocking the door about once before the light turns off. We haven't gotten in in that short amount of time yet, though. There are five locks on our door. And getting the lock to be open, while opening the actual door with our key is quite tricky! We'll get it soon, I hope!

In His Time,

Joeletter 6.2

2005-01-18T12:30:00.000-05:00

In class yesterday we were given the opportunity to study any portion of Scripture. Ben and I chose, through a process of elimination, Philippians 3:7-11. As you read through this paragraph, note the colored words. These are keywords that I marked with colored pencil in my Bible. This is one method of study that can help highlight the motion in a text.

"But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ -- The righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead."

The red marks all the 'I's, green for the Trinity, blue for verbs, and purple for what comes from Christ to us. Keep this in mind as we keep studying.

Paul starts out saying, "Whatevery was to my profit..." Ben and I asked, "What was to his profit?" In the verses before this passage Paul lists the reasons that he could have confidence in this flesh. He was circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Isreal, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews; in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.

This is an impressive list. Paul was pretty much perfect under the old Law. As you read through your five books of the Law in the OT, it's a stringent law. But as much as this impresses us, these qualifications would have meant even more to the intended recipients of this letter.

Philippians was written to the Christians in Philippi, who were falling prey to Judaizers. The Judaizers started out as Jews, and became convinced of the truth that Christ is the Messiah. They grew up under the law, and thus knew it intimately. Knowing the law gave them added insight into the new covenant that God set up in Christ.

All this is so far well and good. But then the Judaizers began to think that everyone else had to become a Jew and keep the Law before becoming a Christian. They were, in fact, forcing anyone who wanted to be a Christian to follow the Jewish faith as well. This was against the purpose of God's new covenant. It was because the Law had no power to save that God set the new covenant of Christ's blood into place. The Judaizers were essentially setting aside the need for Christ's sacrifice and forgivenness.

So Paul is writing in part to refute this heretical teaching of the Judaizers. He is saying that he himself was practically perfect under the old Law. But Paul considered all that he had before as lost, in comparison to knowing Christ. More than lost, rubbish! Something that is lost may be found at some time. But Paul even says that it is rubbish to him. He assigns so little value to all that he had before that it is trash, fit only to be thrown away!

So in conclusion, Paul is saying that all that we have, all that we could suffer, anything other than knowing Christ, is rubbish and trash. It matters not at all. The only thing is seeking intimacy with Jesus each day. An excellent lesson and reminder for me, and us all.

So that's something that I've been learning. In other news, we're getting really close to time to go! Friday at 2:30 p.m. we fly out of Indianapolis. We go to Detroit, then Amsterdam, and finally land in Prague after fourteen n hours. I'm at once excited and scared. Not really scared scared, but just realizing that it's going to be so different, and not really knowing what to expect.

We had an excellent class that kind of addressed this issue. We listed out things that will be different from what we are used to. Then we listed what will be the same. There was a really long list of things that will be different. But really the only thing that will be the same is God. And because God is the same here and there, being overseas will help us learn what it is to pursue God only, away from all we are used to. That, in fact, is the point of going overseas. It's not to be serving on the mission field. Rather, it's to learn what it is to seek intimacy with God as the only thing. Please pray that I will be able to do this. Thanks.

And everything else is all rubbish anyway!

In His Time

Walking on the Water

2005-01-18T12:05:00.000-05:00

Here at Deeper we're becoming more and more like Jesus! This morning we walked across the lake to class. It's pretty exciting. And, it's faster to get back and forth from The Cave and our classroom.

Ben and I made breakfast this morning, biscuits and gravy. It was really good. I'm glad it went well, because we will be cooking several of our meals over in Prague.

Class is going well, and I am learning quite a lot. We are continuing to study through Mark, and prepare for being overseas.

It was really nice to be home this weekend, and be with my family and Aunt Rhonda one more time. I'm gonna miss 'em, but hopefully I'll be able to call each week so we can talk.

I picked up some more tips for flying, dealing with jet lag (just a well prepared sleep-bank in my case), and being overseas from talking with my Aunt Rhonda. Also, Ben was able to meet with a person who grew up in the CR. He taped the conversation so I could listen to it. That also was very helpful.

Three days left! Wow.

In His Time,

Indy Round Robin visit

2005-01-15T23:05:00.000-05:00

I got to go to Bloomington, Indiana today to watch my sisters play Bible Bowl. They each did a nice job, and it was fun to see them play. I also got to catch up with several Bible Bowl friends that I hadn't seen since last June at the National Tournament. That was really nice. Bible Bowl is definitely about memorizing God's Word. But the relationships that you form as you play really come through as a huge blessing.

I miss playing Bible Bowl. I just do. I really was blessed by being with the people. I don't miss the studying. It took so much time, for me at least. But I'm getting quite a bit of use out of that memorizing even now, so I'm glad that I put the time in.

I'm still scrambling here at home, trying to make sure that I've got everything that I'll need, but not too much stuff. I don't want to take things that won't be used, that would be silly. In the mean time, working on getting this stuff together is doing wonders for my sleeping pattern. I managed to scrape by on four hours this morning before going to the Round Robin! Not exactly the most healthy way to live.

Speaking of sleep, I'm thinking that would be a good thing to get right now. I'm out.

In His Time,

Traveling

2005-01-14T09:15:00.000-05:00

Well, today is Friday. One week from today, I will be flying out of the Indianapolis airport on my way to Prague! Seeing it this close is slightly scary, slightly exhilarating.

But this weekend I get to go home one more time. My sisters are playing Bible Bowl in the Indy Round Robin, a semi-annual invitational Bible Bowl tournament. This one is being held in Bloomington. So, I get to ride along and see all my Bible Bowl friends who are still playing.

In addition to seeing my family and friends this weekend, I also get to see my Aunt Rhonda! My aunt and uncle were in Pigeon Forge, TN for an Impact Ministries conference. On Wednesday Rhonda got to fly up to Cincy to be with my family for a few days. It will be nice to see her again before going overseas. Hopefully she can advise me on dealing with jet lag!

And hopefully jet lag won't be too bad. Prague is six hours ahead of Eastern time, seven ahead of Central time, eight ahead of Mountain time. . . well, you get the point. Man, I'm excited, but slightly nervous too. I....well, that pretty much sums it up. ;-)

Thanks for your prayers for peace, health, safety, and good packing.

In His Time,

Deluge

2005-01-13T10:33:00.000-05:00

After the ice storm last week that left a 1/4 - 1/2 inch coating on everything in sight, it has finally warmed up. Yesterday and today have been wonderful, feeling like late spring / early summer. But the downside of all this melting is the large amounts of water that have nowhere to go. On top of that, we have been getting quite a bit of rain, since it is too warm for snow. Thus, as I write this, the field across the road is now a scenic watercourse, complete with Canadian geese.

The pond next to the Conference Center, where we are staying this week, is equipped with an overflow pipe that keeps the pond at a certain level. Under normal circumstances, there is less than 1/4 inch of water flowing over the edge of the pipe at any given time. Now, the pipe is totally covered with rushing water 24 hours a day, and it cannot be seen through the large amount of water. Even this is not enough to relieve the pressure. About five feet from the pond, on the other side of the small dam is a small circle of earth vomiting water. The water just gurgles up out of the dirt and merrily flows on down the dam. Slightly concerning, if you ask me.

In His Time,

God's Provision

2005-01-12T08:31:00.000-05:00

As most of you know, I received an iPod as an Eagle Scout/graduation/going away present at the beginning of Deeper, around the end of August. I have been greatly blessed by having this resource. At the beginning of our six-week trip, the control pad on my iPod malfunctioned. Fortunately it was still under warranty, so I sent it in to Apple, and about two weeks later received a working iPod. That worked out ok, because I was in New York at the time, and Mom was able to mail it to me.

Fast forward to yesterday morning. I sat down to do Personal Worship Time, and found that one of the parts on the control panel didn't do what it was supposed to do! I tried several things, but nothing made any difference. That particular part didn't do it's job. Needless to say, that made the iPod slightly less useful, and definately more cumbersome to use. I think it could have been done. But while it is still under warrenty, why not send it in? The only problem is, we will be flying out Jan. 21, a week from Friday. I didn't know if it would be back from Apple by then, and suspected that it wouldn't be. And yet, that was all that I personally could do. In my Journal I asked God, for His glory, if He would provide a fine, working iPod by the time we flew overseas. The way I saw Him responding would be to speed up the fixing process so that my iPod would be back to me before we left.

I logged into the Apple site and completed a service request form so they would send me a box to mail my iPod back to them in. Then I regretfully put my iPod away, and left it all day. When getting ready for bed, I decided to try using the part of the music that was accessible even with that part not working. To my immense surprise, the part was working again! I was in a small state of shock! All I can do is thank and praise my good Father, from whom all good things come.

I wanted to share this with you because it was a huge encouragement from God to me, especially after feeling so distant for the past few days. Thanks for your prayers.

In His Time,

I? No, You

2005-01-11T18:48:00.000-05:00

Over the past three days or so I have had some difficulty worshipping. My mind wanders, I don't feel very reverent, and I just can't seem to focus on God. I have had this problem both in corporate worship, and in my own Personal Worship Times. I continue to seek God, but I just don't feel Him. I realize that seeking God is not just based on feelings. And, in fact, I think it can build my 'faith muscles' to seek after Him when I personally feel dry and empty. But at the same time, I feel dry and empty. This may be a time where God is giving me a discomfort to help me spiritually move along on the path He has for me, to get more involved in seeking Him. I think that I need to spend more time in His Word, trying to understand what He has done in the past, and what He is doing in my life. So, that's part of what I'm trying. I would appreciate your prayers for insight and discernment, as well as a renewed reverence. And I wouldn't mind having those 'feelings' again. I know that feelings are not what we base pursuing God on, but it certainly does feel better.

In chapel today, we were given a chance to write a poem describing where we are with God right now. That was a wonderful experience, and I'd like to share it with you here.

I know You are there, and I trust You implicitly,
but do i?

I know Your command, and I seek You completely,
but do i?

I know You are glorious, and I worship You constantly,
but do i?

I know You are my Father, and all good things come from You.
i do.

Myself, I can do nothing; weak and bent toward evil in my flesh.
Faith, the ability to seek You, is from You.

do i?
No, i cannot.
But You can,
And You have,
And You do.

I trust You are there, and I will know you implicitly.
You do this.

I seek Your command, and I will know You completely.
You do this.

I worship You as glorious, and I will know you constantly.
You do this.

My Father, You are good to me, and all I know comes from You.

You.

In typing this up on the computer, I was struck again by how the point is God, and He does the working. I cannot, so He does all the good. It kinda ties in with the pride thing. I need to humble myself once more, and seek Him with all my heart.

In His Time,

American Sign Language

2005-01-10T19:36:00.000-05:00

I'm learning American Sign Language, ASL for short! It's really a lot of fun, and the book that I'm working through is very simple to understand. I know about thirty signs now, and counting. Ben, my team partner when we go overseas, is also learning ASL. The reason for this is that one of the staff members overseas is deaf. This will help us be able to communicate both with her, and with each other. It's really fun.

I'm looking forward to going over, from all the things I've heard it will be a wonderful four months. But I would ask that you pray for health and safety for us, both in traveling and also in just living over there. My Dad reminded me that the stress of traveling is very likely to give me a cold, and that would be a horrible way to start the trip. Also, please pray for our/my focus on God. As the classes keep reminding me, if I'm focusing on and pursuing God, then nothing will really be a problem. As I lose focus, then it could get messy. Thanks for your prayers.

In His Time,
~Joel~

Joeletter 6.1

2005-01-10T16:38:00.000-05:00

JOELETTER

Happy New Year! I and the rest of the students have returned to Deeper, and are currently involved in three weeks of class time. Our classes include cross-cultural training, Intro to the New Testament, and studying the gospel written by Mark.

As I was contemplating The JOELETTER, I realized that the subscript that I had originally included "The all Joel, all the time newsletter" needed to be done away with. As you probably guessed, I put that in as a joke at myself, since this letter started out being all about me, and what I was doing up here at Deeper.

But even though that was just a humorous phrase, I decided to take it out. The Joeletter isn't really about me anymore, but about the things that God is leading me in. It's about lessons that He's teaching me, and the opportunities that He is providing. So, this is really the "God working in Joel's life" newsletter.

I'm continuing to learn about a single-minded focus. Like I wrote last time, it's so easy to be distracted from pursuing God by things that are really good in themselves. (My room is still a mess, just slightly cleaner because I'm not there right now).

I'm also learning about humility. Quite a lot of my life has been driven by a desire for approval/appreciation from other people. God calls us to seek only His approval, not the approval of men. So this means that seeking approval from anyone other from God is sin. This is actually the whole point of Deeper, that we seek God only.

And, really, I was aware before Deeper that I wasn't seeking God wholeheartedly. I actually identified to myself that there were parts of me/my life that I wasn't willing to trust God on. Parts of my life that I just would not give up. One of the tools that God used to help me identify that was a song played over the Air 1 radio network (www.air1.com). The song is entitled, "Take My Life." It's asking God to take all of me with these words.

"Take my life, take my mind, take my soul, take my will, 'cause I'm am your's, Lord, I give it all to you."

When I heard this song on the radio, I realized that I couldn't sing it with my whole heart.

As crazy as it may seem, this desire for approval engendered a deep, hidden pride. I wasn't even aware of how prideful I was, and laughed along with everyone else at people who were proud of their humility. But in seeking God here at Deeper, I began asking Him to help me not depend on others for my approval. I want(ed) to only need Him, not anyone else for how I feel/felt. As I did this, He started showing me pride within myself. It was kind of painful to find out.

But God is faithful. As I was becoming aware of this pride, He also began showing me His Words during my Personal Worship Time that helped me to be reformed in His image. He reminded me that only because of Him is there anything good in my life. I am not the one who makes good things happen. He is the author of all good things. So, I really don't have anything to be proud about, since it isn't me who is responsible for any good. And I don't have anything to be jealous about, because it's the same Father of us all who gives His good gifts and makes good things possible.

Let me share some of these verses with you.

2 Corinthians 1:9
"Indeed, in our hearts we felt the sentence of death. But this happened that we might not rely on ourselves but on God, who raises the dead."

2 Corinthians 1:12
"Now this is our boast: Our conscience testifies that we have conducted ourselves in the world, and especially in our relations with you, in the holiness and sincerity that are form God. We have not done so according to worldly wisdom but according to God's grace."

2 Corinthians 1:21-22
"Now it is God who makes both us and you stand firm in Christ. He anointed us, set his seal of ownership on us, and put his Spirit in our hearts as a deposit, guaranteeing what is to come."

2 Corinthians 1:24
"Not that we lord it over your faith, but we work with you for your joy, because it is by faith you stand firm."

2 Corinthians 13:4
"For to be sure, he (Christ) was crucified in weakness, yet he lives by God's power. Likewise, we are weak in him, yet by God's power we will live with him to serve you."

Do you see in each verse how it's God who is doing all the work? In this new covenant that He has set up, He keeps His end of the bargain, AND He keeps our end of the bargain. He gives us the ability and all the help that we need to chose and pursue Him. It's wonderful.

So as I was home over Christmas Break, I heard "Take My Life" on the radio again. I am able to mean it now.

In His Time,
~Joel~